...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQAG5RengFM
--Hannah
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Day 130.
Christmas Observations:
Christmas Eve:
- At around noon, I head over to the CFCI office where a team of a dozen or so people were preparing a Christmas Eve dinner for 100+ homeless people in downtown San Jose. Let's just say I got really good at cutting papaya.
- By the time 6:30 came around, we had made a whole ice chest full of arroz con pollo, -- rice with chicken -- two jumbo Gatorade dispenser's worth of fruit salad, and six garbage bags of potato chips. Our team drove into a dark corner of downtown with our humble banquet. I was the only person from the US.
- People were waiting for us before we even arrived. Don Horacio, the Argentinean pastor behind our whole plan, leads a weekly Bible study with his "sheep of the streets" and knows most of them by name. The majority showed up in some sort of intoxicated state -- stinking, swearing, weeping...but by looking at how Don Horacio prayed for, embraced, and served every single one of them, you would think he was in the presence of Jesus himself. And I think he was. We all were.
- At one point, a car pulled up and some of the homeless folks literally bolted to the vehicle, scrambling back with bags of white in their hands. A few policemen were present (something that definitely made me feel a bit more secure), and ran over to see what the commotion was about -- all the while eager hands grasped at the car window. The police didn't do anything though, they just stood by and watched as these drug addicts were obviously receiving whatever it was that fed their addiction. Slowly though, I began to notice what was in the bags...it wasn't crack cocaine. It was sandwiches. And cookies. A Colombian couple had the same idea as us, making food for people that are usually forgotten during the holidays. Lesson: God takes our tragic assumptions about the human race and turns them into miracles.
- After that whole extravaganza, I returned home and had the opportunity to skype with the Holtgeerts side of the fam. Then my Costa Rican family and I devoured a delicious roast beast at midnight (a tradition here that I definitely want to continue with my family in the States).
- My host mom gave me a jar of crunchy peanut butter. She knows me too well.
Christmas Day:
- Christmas morning I opened presents with my family in a-town via skype, which included the annual Christmas production that Luke, Henry, and I put on for my parents. Henry played a song on the piano, Luke played some tunes on his tuba, and I plucked my ukulele for a bit. We also recited Emma Lazarus's "A New Collosus" together. Okay, actually Luke and I recited it...Henry performed an interpretive dance to our recitation.
- Later that day I went over to Melisa's mom's house and enjoyed another Christmas feast, eating the BEST lasagna I have ever consumed in my entire life. We also watched "John Tucker Must Die" dubbed in Spanish (I'm actually getting much better at that!).
- While hanging out with Melisa, we had a great discussion about Mormons. Her theory? "Why do all the missionaries that they send out have to be tan guapos?! Sooo handsome? I mean come on -- that's just cheating!"
The 26th:
- I woke up to run off some of the kilos of food my stomach is still trying to digest (I believe my food baby now has a twin), stepped outside, and decide that because my fingernails were sweating, it might be best to just sprawl on my sheets and watch the Cotton Patch Gospel (thanks parentals).
- Today I downed my seventh tamale of the season.
- In the afternoon, as my family and I sweltered in the 100+ heat, my host mom whipped up some "granizados" -- shaved ice smothered in sickly sweet red syrup, sweetened condensed milk, and evaporated milk. So bad, but so so good.
- This evening I got to chat with my Rarig side of the fam; it was great hearing from Aunt Natalie, Aunt Karol, and my beloved Jeanbean.
- Apart from that, I watched lots of Recess episodes on youtube.
Other observations:
- Two things that are considered holiday delicacies here: plump grapes with seeds you could easily choke on and beautiful Washington-grown Red Delicious apples.
- Last week I finished my mom's sentence for the first time! Now this may not seem like a big deal (It's something both my mother Valerie and I are incredibly guilty of in the States), but I actually knew what my host mom was going to say. IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
- At Melisa's house, I also tried an oatmeal concoction of sorts: oatmeal, milk, and some sugar. Far more delicious than I anticipated.
- My friend Anders Rodin sent me a very touching facebook message, warming my heart by describing how he had presented his restaurant meal leftovers to a homeless man, saying "I knew that he would enjoy those leftovers more than I had even enjoyed my meal." Amen.
- One of the volunteers helping on Christmas Eve had spent quite some time in the States, and he obviously wanted a chance to practice his English with me. We talked about Christmas and he asked if I was missing home. Well duh. He began talking about the feelings of Christmas, hinting that commercialism has consumed the true meaning and that we get lost in the feel-good, warm romantic sentiments that we all associate with December. He talked about sitting next to a lonely old woman in Orlando who questioned his anticipation of the approaching 25th day of the 12th month. His response? "I don't celebrate Christmas day. I celebrate Christ being born every day in my heart." Well yes, that is just dandy and a fabulous Sunday School textbook answer, but I can say I don't agree with it. Of course we are to celebrate Christ's birth every day, but I feel that Advent is a special time of waiting, anticipation, and joy. To deny it these emotions I feel is to disgrace the gift that God has given us of feeling deep things stir within our hearts, reach out, and touch each other in warmth during the coldest time of the year.
- I wrote this poem in honor of Joy Brandli. I think it highlights the importance of Advent and expecting something.
- My host sister Laura made us chocolate chip cookies that were charred, flat, and the chips poked out like little round rabbit poops. I miss real Christmas cookies. And heavenly treats.
- This is my favorite reading from the "Watch for the Light" book of Advent readings that my parents sent to me:
--Hannah
PS SARAH MOSES-WINYARD. If you are reading this, please know that there is a present waiting for you at my house. It seems you've gotten all mature on me again and deleted your facebook. I'm impressed as usual.
Christmas Eve:
- At around noon, I head over to the CFCI office where a team of a dozen or so people were preparing a Christmas Eve dinner for 100+ homeless people in downtown San Jose. Let's just say I got really good at cutting papaya.
- By the time 6:30 came around, we had made a whole ice chest full of arroz con pollo, -- rice with chicken -- two jumbo Gatorade dispenser's worth of fruit salad, and six garbage bags of potato chips. Our team drove into a dark corner of downtown with our humble banquet. I was the only person from the US.
- People were waiting for us before we even arrived. Don Horacio, the Argentinean pastor behind our whole plan, leads a weekly Bible study with his "sheep of the streets" and knows most of them by name. The majority showed up in some sort of intoxicated state -- stinking, swearing, weeping...but by looking at how Don Horacio prayed for, embraced, and served every single one of them, you would think he was in the presence of Jesus himself. And I think he was. We all were.
- At one point, a car pulled up and some of the homeless folks literally bolted to the vehicle, scrambling back with bags of white in their hands. A few policemen were present (something that definitely made me feel a bit more secure), and ran over to see what the commotion was about -- all the while eager hands grasped at the car window. The police didn't do anything though, they just stood by and watched as these drug addicts were obviously receiving whatever it was that fed their addiction. Slowly though, I began to notice what was in the bags...it wasn't crack cocaine. It was sandwiches. And cookies. A Colombian couple had the same idea as us, making food for people that are usually forgotten during the holidays. Lesson: God takes our tragic assumptions about the human race and turns them into miracles.
- After that whole extravaganza, I returned home and had the opportunity to skype with the Holtgeerts side of the fam. Then my Costa Rican family and I devoured a delicious roast beast at midnight (a tradition here that I definitely want to continue with my family in the States).
- My host mom gave me a jar of crunchy peanut butter. She knows me too well.
Christmas Day:
- Christmas morning I opened presents with my family in a-town via skype, which included the annual Christmas production that Luke, Henry, and I put on for my parents. Henry played a song on the piano, Luke played some tunes on his tuba, and I plucked my ukulele for a bit. We also recited Emma Lazarus's "A New Collosus" together. Okay, actually Luke and I recited it...Henry performed an interpretive dance to our recitation.
- Later that day I went over to Melisa's mom's house and enjoyed another Christmas feast, eating the BEST lasagna I have ever consumed in my entire life. We also watched "John Tucker Must Die" dubbed in Spanish (I'm actually getting much better at that!).
- While hanging out with Melisa, we had a great discussion about Mormons. Her theory? "Why do all the missionaries that they send out have to be tan guapos?! Sooo handsome? I mean come on -- that's just cheating!"
The 26th:
- I woke up to run off some of the kilos of food my stomach is still trying to digest (I believe my food baby now has a twin), stepped outside, and decide that because my fingernails were sweating, it might be best to just sprawl on my sheets and watch the Cotton Patch Gospel (thanks parentals).
- Today I downed my seventh tamale of the season.
- In the afternoon, as my family and I sweltered in the 100+ heat, my host mom whipped up some "granizados" -- shaved ice smothered in sickly sweet red syrup, sweetened condensed milk, and evaporated milk. So bad, but so so good.
- This evening I got to chat with my Rarig side of the fam; it was great hearing from Aunt Natalie, Aunt Karol, and my beloved Jeanbean.
- Apart from that, I watched lots of Recess episodes on youtube.
Other observations:
- Two things that are considered holiday delicacies here: plump grapes with seeds you could easily choke on and beautiful Washington-grown Red Delicious apples.
- Last week I finished my mom's sentence for the first time! Now this may not seem like a big deal (It's something both my mother Valerie and I are incredibly guilty of in the States), but I actually knew what my host mom was going to say. IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
- At Melisa's house, I also tried an oatmeal concoction of sorts: oatmeal, milk, and some sugar. Far more delicious than I anticipated.
- My friend Anders Rodin sent me a very touching facebook message, warming my heart by describing how he had presented his restaurant meal leftovers to a homeless man, saying "I knew that he would enjoy those leftovers more than I had even enjoyed my meal." Amen.
- One of the volunteers helping on Christmas Eve had spent quite some time in the States, and he obviously wanted a chance to practice his English with me. We talked about Christmas and he asked if I was missing home. Well duh. He began talking about the feelings of Christmas, hinting that commercialism has consumed the true meaning and that we get lost in the feel-good, warm romantic sentiments that we all associate with December. He talked about sitting next to a lonely old woman in Orlando who questioned his anticipation of the approaching 25th day of the 12th month. His response? "I don't celebrate Christmas day. I celebrate Christ being born every day in my heart." Well yes, that is just dandy and a fabulous Sunday School textbook answer, but I can say I don't agree with it. Of course we are to celebrate Christ's birth every day, but I feel that Advent is a special time of waiting, anticipation, and joy. To deny it these emotions I feel is to disgrace the gift that God has given us of feeling deep things stir within our hearts, reach out, and touch each other in warmth during the coldest time of the year.
- I wrote this poem in honor of Joy Brandli. I think it highlights the importance of Advent and expecting something.
Waiting.- Every since December started, fireworks are constantly blaring all through the day and night. It made reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns" a lot more real with large explosions in the background.
So here I am, waiting.
Waiting like an unopened envelope,
like a forgotten promise.
I wait in the sunshine,
I wait in the storm drain.
For what?
For unanswered questions,
for kitchen timers to sound.
I wait for the bus to pull up
and the plane to take off.
Once I waited a long time,
a long, long time,
to get from one place to another.
Now I wait to return.
I am waiting for a boy to enter my life as a man,
and for a Holy Man to enter my heart as a baby boy.esperar v.:Is that what this is?
1. "to wait"
2. "to hope"
Hoping?
That is a pleasant thought,
but terrifying.
For so often,
God refuses to give us what we wait for.
But rather,
we are presented with something far better
than what we could have ever hoped.
- My host sister Laura made us chocolate chip cookies that were charred, flat, and the chips poked out like little round rabbit poops. I miss real Christmas cookies. And heavenly treats.
- This is my favorite reading from the "Watch for the Light" book of Advent readings that my parents sent to me:
"What matters in the deeper experience of contemplation is not the doing and accomplishing. what matters is relationship, the being with. We create holy ground and give birth to Christ in our time not by doing but by believing and by loving the mysterious Infinite One who stirs within. This requires trust that something of great and saving importance is growing and kicking its heels in you."- Today I put all my Christmas music on my external hard drive and deleted it off my computer. Time to move on.
-- Loretta Ross-Gotta
--Hannah
PS SARAH MOSES-WINYARD. If you are reading this, please know that there is a present waiting for you at my house. It seems you've gotten all mature on me again and deleted your facebook. I'm impressed as usual.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Day 127.
Today, I...
...saw Annie Grumbles, a girl who went to Sojourn with me six years ago. She grew up in Costa Rica and is now attending William and Mary. We talked about roommates, cultural differences, Steinbeck, and volleyball. Who would've known that after six years, we'd still find each other conversing together in Fresas, a delightful restaurant? God is good.
...missed Christmas cookies, heavenly treats, and mudpuppies.
...realized I am going to miss how not stressed I am here.
...learned how to play two songs on the charango, a Peruvian more sophisticated ukulele. I spent the night at Melisa's last night and she taught me how; it made me realize how much I missed making music with people. I also watched "Pursuit of Happyness" and "Driving Lessons", both for the first time. I highly recommend both.
...smiled when I talked to my MoPo on skype. :)
--Hannah
...saw Annie Grumbles, a girl who went to Sojourn with me six years ago. She grew up in Costa Rica and is now attending William and Mary. We talked about roommates, cultural differences, Steinbeck, and volleyball. Who would've known that after six years, we'd still find each other conversing together in Fresas, a delightful restaurant? God is good.
...missed Christmas cookies, heavenly treats, and mudpuppies.
...realized I am going to miss how not stressed I am here.
...learned how to play two songs on the charango, a Peruvian more sophisticated ukulele. I spent the night at Melisa's last night and she taught me how; it made me realize how much I missed making music with people. I also watched "Pursuit of Happyness" and "Driving Lessons", both for the first time. I highly recommend both.
...smiled when I talked to my MoPo on skype. :)
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Day 126.
Well break has started, and like every other 18 year old on the planet I am doing next to nothing.
So far I've delivered a few Christmas presents, received some in return, taken a few pictures, done plenty of reading, wasted lots of time on stumblupon.com...it's been relaxing.
Oh! Big event! The girl I mentioned before is going to be my roommate at DePaul after all! Her name is Sophie, she's from Sufjan Stevens' hometown, her bedroom walls are plastered in photos/magazine cutouts/etc, and she lives for NPR. We're pretty much destined to live together.
I feel that I haven't really been sharing much of my creative energy as of late, so I'm going to post the lyrics to a little tune I made up on my uke a while back. I hope you like them.
"Life the Life"
I want to live the life I love,
I want to love the life I live,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give.
I want to give away my heart,
I want to give away my soul,
I want to give away, give away,
but gain the whole.
Gain the whole wide world,
Gain the sun and the stars --
Have you ever really realized how lonely we are?
Thank God that we have people,
Thank God that we have friends,
Thank God that we can be our seven-year-old selves once again.
Cause I love the taste of dirt
And I like love even when it hurts
And when the wind whispers,
"I love you..."
And the pebble say,
"We are proud
Of all that you have done
And of what you will become."
And the sea sighs,
"Why must you be sad?
Your smile is far more beautiful.
You're beautiful."
--Hannah
So far I've delivered a few Christmas presents, received some in return, taken a few pictures, done plenty of reading, wasted lots of time on stumblupon.com...it's been relaxing.
Oh! Big event! The girl I mentioned before is going to be my roommate at DePaul after all! Her name is Sophie, she's from Sufjan Stevens' hometown, her bedroom walls are plastered in photos/magazine cutouts/etc, and she lives for NPR. We're pretty much destined to live together.
I feel that I haven't really been sharing much of my creative energy as of late, so I'm going to post the lyrics to a little tune I made up on my uke a while back. I hope you like them.
"Life the Life"
I want to live the life I love,
I want to love the life I live,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give.
I want to give away my heart,
I want to give away my soul,
I want to give away, give away,
but gain the whole.
Gain the whole wide world,
Gain the sun and the stars --
Have you ever really realized how lonely we are?
Thank God that we have people,
Thank God that we have friends,
Thank God that we can be our seven-year-old selves once again.
Cause I love the taste of dirt
And I like love even when it hurts
And when the wind whispers,
"I love you..."
And the pebble say,
"We are proud
Of all that you have done
And of what you will become."
And the sea sighs,
"Why must you be sad?
Your smile is far more beautiful.
You're beautiful."
--Hannah
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Day 123.
Let me apologize for not posting in a while. Alanna's dad and brother came, which means two things:
1) I received a package from my parents, sent down with Alanna's fam.
2) I had to finish the package I wanted to send back with Alanna's fam to my parents.
The latter was much easier than the first, which required no creative hours or mess.
Apart from that, I now return from teaching at 5:30 instead of 2:30 like all of last month. My math class is doing alright. I have two students who nearly aced the final exam I gave them before Christmas (one is just genuinely bright while the other one actually studies), but my other girls all failed. Pretty miserably. Yesterday though, we had planned an auction of sorts, using all the points they had earned through participation, homework completion, and test scores as a form of fake currency to buy random plastic crap I purchased at the office supply store owned by a nice Chinese family near my house. Connie Congleton, my second grade teacher, did the same thing when I was seven and I remember my class absolutely loving it. My class of seventeen year olds did too.
The interesting thing was how whenever two girls would get in a bidding frenzy, the winner would give the prize to the loser. There was also lots of "Just give so-and-so all my points". We'll have another auction after the tests, in April, and I'm excited to see if this attitude is going to prevail or if it was just part of the Christmas spirit.
Speaking of which, Christmas is rapidly approaching and I can't wait. Yesterday was our giant "Feliz Navidad Lunch" with all the girls that are part of the Refuge ministries (either as students during the week, or part of the craft crew on Saturday, or a player on the soccer team). We ended up serving lunch to 85 girls, and a lot of them were at other Christmas Parties at school. It was an awesome visual of how many young women are impacted by Christ for the City every week.
As part of the program, Alanna performed two songs with her choir of five girls; everyone cheered gloriously at the end for them. The soccer team did a lip sync with choreography to some Spanish Christian rap song that was a huge hit. As soon as it was over, everyone just screamed "Again! Again!". So what did they do? They performed the exact same thing. Again.
My host mom just cranked out a batch of 100 tamales yesterday and I had the privilege of eating the first one. I remember hating them when I was here as a twelve-year-old (the tamales here are wrapped in banana leaves, not corn husks like in Mexico. This gives them a bit of a different flavor), but like every time I try a new food, I realize my taste buds have changed.
I now have a small pile of presents to open on Christmas morning and have been playing Harry Connick Jr. and the Muppets Christmas nonstop (more things my parents sent down).
However, this delicious serving of Christmas cheer didn't come without its share of bitter cold (okay, really there has been no cold. It's been 80 every day. That was just a terrible metaphor): the long awaited webcam my parents sent to me turned out to not be compatible with my mac, so no opening presents with them on Christmas morning. That really hit hard and a rather homesick/downtrodden me fell asleep watching Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer in ten-minute chunks on youtube last night.
And then I woke up. The sun kept shining, my host mom kept smiling, and there was another day ahead of me. My host sister, brother, and sister-in-law invited me to go to the beach with them tomorrow, Susie and Sarita (two very veteran missionaries here) asked me to join them on a two day trip to the country side after Christmas, and a message was waiting for me in my facebook inbox from a girl in Michigan who seems full of potential roommate material.
Basically, I can stay in bed today and sulk, but life is going to keep throwing blessings at me. So I think I'm gonna get up, go for a run, call my Peruvian friends, and enjoy the days that are precious to me...which is every day.
--Hannah
1) I received a package from my parents, sent down with Alanna's fam.
2) I had to finish the package I wanted to send back with Alanna's fam to my parents.
The latter was much easier than the first, which required no creative hours or mess.
Apart from that, I now return from teaching at 5:30 instead of 2:30 like all of last month. My math class is doing alright. I have two students who nearly aced the final exam I gave them before Christmas (one is just genuinely bright while the other one actually studies), but my other girls all failed. Pretty miserably. Yesterday though, we had planned an auction of sorts, using all the points they had earned through participation, homework completion, and test scores as a form of fake currency to buy random plastic crap I purchased at the office supply store owned by a nice Chinese family near my house. Connie Congleton, my second grade teacher, did the same thing when I was seven and I remember my class absolutely loving it. My class of seventeen year olds did too.
The interesting thing was how whenever two girls would get in a bidding frenzy, the winner would give the prize to the loser. There was also lots of "Just give so-and-so all my points". We'll have another auction after the tests, in April, and I'm excited to see if this attitude is going to prevail or if it was just part of the Christmas spirit.
Speaking of which, Christmas is rapidly approaching and I can't wait. Yesterday was our giant "Feliz Navidad Lunch" with all the girls that are part of the Refuge ministries (either as students during the week, or part of the craft crew on Saturday, or a player on the soccer team). We ended up serving lunch to 85 girls, and a lot of them were at other Christmas Parties at school. It was an awesome visual of how many young women are impacted by Christ for the City every week.
As part of the program, Alanna performed two songs with her choir of five girls; everyone cheered gloriously at the end for them. The soccer team did a lip sync with choreography to some Spanish Christian rap song that was a huge hit. As soon as it was over, everyone just screamed "Again! Again!". So what did they do? They performed the exact same thing. Again.
My host mom just cranked out a batch of 100 tamales yesterday and I had the privilege of eating the first one. I remember hating them when I was here as a twelve-year-old (the tamales here are wrapped in banana leaves, not corn husks like in Mexico. This gives them a bit of a different flavor), but like every time I try a new food, I realize my taste buds have changed.
I now have a small pile of presents to open on Christmas morning and have been playing Harry Connick Jr. and the Muppets Christmas nonstop (more things my parents sent down).
However, this delicious serving of Christmas cheer didn't come without its share of bitter cold (okay, really there has been no cold. It's been 80 every day. That was just a terrible metaphor): the long awaited webcam my parents sent to me turned out to not be compatible with my mac, so no opening presents with them on Christmas morning. That really hit hard and a rather homesick/downtrodden me fell asleep watching Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer in ten-minute chunks on youtube last night.
And then I woke up. The sun kept shining, my host mom kept smiling, and there was another day ahead of me. My host sister, brother, and sister-in-law invited me to go to the beach with them tomorrow, Susie and Sarita (two very veteran missionaries here) asked me to join them on a two day trip to the country side after Christmas, and a message was waiting for me in my facebook inbox from a girl in Michigan who seems full of potential roommate material.
Basically, I can stay in bed today and sulk, but life is going to keep throwing blessings at me. So I think I'm gonna get up, go for a run, call my Peruvian friends, and enjoy the days that are precious to me...which is every day.
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Day 119.
Today, I...
...finished A Christmas Carol. This place is a great habitat for plowing through literature.
...missed celebrating Advent at my church.
...realized I am going to miss looking at infinite numbers of fried foods and thinking, "Mmm....one of these days I'm going to try that one!"
...learned that for Alanna, this place really truly is home.
...smiled when my tica mom invited me to go Christmas shopping at Mercado Central. We make quite the pair walking through the streets of San Jose.
--Hannah
...finished A Christmas Carol. This place is a great habitat for plowing through literature.
...missed celebrating Advent at my church.
...realized I am going to miss looking at infinite numbers of fried foods and thinking, "Mmm....one of these days I'm going to try that one!"
...learned that for Alanna, this place really truly is home.
...smiled when my tica mom invited me to go Christmas shopping at Mercado Central. We make quite the pair walking through the streets of San Jose.
--Hannah
Monday, December 14, 2009
Day 118.
Today, I...
...saw a chicken get decapitated, then watched its wings flap helplessly while its head dangled by a dismembered nervous system. Yummy.
...missed decorating my Christmas tree with my family in the States.
...realized I am going to miss driving home from church with my host parents.
...learned that I have some incredibly hard working students. And some not so hard working ones.
...smiled when I read this from A Christmas Carol (my mother left it for me -- SUCH a good book!):
--Hannah
...saw a chicken get decapitated, then watched its wings flap helplessly while its head dangled by a dismembered nervous system. Yummy.
...missed decorating my Christmas tree with my family in the States.
...realized I am going to miss driving home from church with my host parents.
...learned that I have some incredibly hard working students. And some not so hard working ones.
...smiled when I read this from A Christmas Carol (my mother left it for me -- SUCH a good book!):
"There are many things from which I might have derived good by which I have not profited, I daresay," returned the nephew, "Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmastime, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart form that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"
--Hannah
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Day 114.
Today I...
...saw understanding brighten up one of my students' faces as she finally understood how to measure with a protractor. She couldn't grasp that if one side of an angle started at 30 degrees, and the other was at 120, the angle was only 90 degrees, not 120. I compared it to a telenovela (Spanish soap opera) starting at 2 and ending at 5 -- the novela is three hours long because you don't include any time prior to its beginning. Suddenly she understood. Nothing like TV in the classroom.
...missed home a lot today. Everyone told me Christmas time would be hard, and they are sure right. I miss Christmas Calculus parties, Christmas mugs, Christmas music (I spent three hours trying to figure out homesharing on iTunes so I can listen to my family's collection of Harry Connick Jr, but then found out that homesharing only works on computers in the same room...), the anticipation of snow, and Anacortes bundled up on blustery days.
...realized I am going to miss the way people can encourage me, even if they are thousands of miles away.
...learned that I love the victorious taste of my own sweat.
...smiled when I made myself my own vanilla steamer. :)
--Hannah
...saw understanding brighten up one of my students' faces as she finally understood how to measure with a protractor. She couldn't grasp that if one side of an angle started at 30 degrees, and the other was at 120, the angle was only 90 degrees, not 120. I compared it to a telenovela (Spanish soap opera) starting at 2 and ending at 5 -- the novela is three hours long because you don't include any time prior to its beginning. Suddenly she understood. Nothing like TV in the classroom.
...missed home a lot today. Everyone told me Christmas time would be hard, and they are sure right. I miss Christmas Calculus parties, Christmas mugs, Christmas music (I spent three hours trying to figure out homesharing on iTunes so I can listen to my family's collection of Harry Connick Jr, but then found out that homesharing only works on computers in the same room...), the anticipation of snow, and Anacortes bundled up on blustery days.
...realized I am going to miss the way people can encourage me, even if they are thousands of miles away.
...learned that I love the victorious taste of my own sweat.
...smiled when I made myself my own vanilla steamer. :)
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Day 112.
Today, I...
...cranked out a slew of home-made earrings for Christmas presents while watching "Millions". If you haven't seen that film, watch it -- it's one of Danny Boyle's lesser-known majesties.
...missed seeing my Gram and Granddad's lit-up Christmas wreath from the bottom of their launchpad driveway.
...realized I am going to miss the way that people are captivated by my blond hair.
...learned the real meaning of the phrase "love unconditionally". It means loving some one no matter what condition they're in. That means when they're homeless, when they're cranky, when they're unequipped, when they're stupid, when they're not paying attention, when they're gossiping, when they're drunk, when they're bragging, when they're annoying, when they're short-tempered, when they've let you down, when they've torn you down, when they haven't bathed, when they've thrown up on you, when they've deliberately disobeyed you, when they're acting like a parent, when they're doing something they'll regret...THAT is when you're supposed to love them. And me, because I've certainly done more than my fair share of those things.
...smiled as I re-read this passage from "Watch for the Light", a book of readings for Advent that my parents left me:
-Hannah
...cranked out a slew of home-made earrings for Christmas presents while watching "Millions". If you haven't seen that film, watch it -- it's one of Danny Boyle's lesser-known majesties.
...missed seeing my Gram and Granddad's lit-up Christmas wreath from the bottom of their launchpad driveway.
...realized I am going to miss the way that people are captivated by my blond hair.
...learned the real meaning of the phrase "love unconditionally". It means loving some one no matter what condition they're in. That means when they're homeless, when they're cranky, when they're unequipped, when they're stupid, when they're not paying attention, when they're gossiping, when they're drunk, when they're bragging, when they're annoying, when they're short-tempered, when they've let you down, when they've torn you down, when they haven't bathed, when they've thrown up on you, when they've deliberately disobeyed you, when they're acting like a parent, when they're doing something they'll regret...THAT is when you're supposed to love them. And me, because I've certainly done more than my fair share of those things.
...smiled as I re-read this passage from "Watch for the Light", a book of readings for Advent that my parents left me:
"Contrary to all our fond hopes, you seized upon precisely this human life and made it your own. And you did this not in order to change or abolish it, not so that you could visibly and tangibly transform it, not to divinize it. You didn't even fill it to overflowing with the kind of goods that men are able to wrest from the small, rocky acre of their temporal life, and which they laboriously store away as their meager provision for eternity.
No, you took upon yourself our kind of life, just as it is. You let it slip away from you, just as ours vanishes from us. You held on to it carefully, so that not a single drop of its torments would be spilled. You hoarded its every fleeting moment."
--Karl Rahner
-Hannah
Monday, December 7, 2009
Day 111.
Today, I...
...re-read Ender's Game. Some amazing quotes, including:
"You may hate me for it, Ender, but keep thsi in mind -- it only works because what's between you, that's reall, that's hat matters. Billions of those connections between human beings. That's what you're fighting to keep alive."
...missed Mila and making movies.
...realized I am going to miss the days when the power goes out and my host family and I stand outside to look at the stars.
...learned that my AP scores made me exempt from my DePaul placement tests! I don't have to worry about taking those blasted things -- SUCH a good feeling.
...smiled when the sun woke me up.
--Hannah
...re-read Ender's Game. Some amazing quotes, including:
"You may hate me for it, Ender, but keep thsi in mind -- it only works because what's between you, that's reall, that's hat matters. Billions of those connections between human beings. That's what you're fighting to keep alive."
...missed Mila and making movies.
...realized I am going to miss the days when the power goes out and my host family and I stand outside to look at the stars.
...learned that my AP scores made me exempt from my DePaul placement tests! I don't have to worry about taking those blasted things -- SUCH a good feeling.
...smiled when the sun woke me up.
--Hannah
Friday, December 4, 2009
Day 108.
The Story of the Sandia
This morning I woke up with a craving for sandia. Watermelon.
So I decided to get some.
First I woke up at 5:30 and finished making a math test for my students. Then I thought of the watermelon.
Next I went on a run in the hot hot heat. Still, I thought of the watermelon.
Then I sat myself on the bus and planned out the purchase. I would get to work, give my girls their test, and then buy the plump red perfection on my way home through downtown.
I got to La Carpio. My students presented their Infomercial assignments; I had told them to "sell" various geometric shapes, cramming lots of information about each two-dimensional form in a short amount of time. One group promised the rest of the class that a quadrilateral was the best deal on the market -- "We'll throw in not one, not two, not three, but FOUR angles!" That made me laugh.
Still, I thought of the watermelon.
After that, we spent thirty minutes on their vocabulary test. I read my book. And tasted the watermelon in my near future.
Once that was done, I hopped back on the bus. Only forty-five minutes left of this grueling anticipation.
Finally I had made it: I was in front of the fruit stand. It was staring me right in the face, as if every black seed from the quarter slice was an unblinking eye, begging to be consumed. I forked over 600 colones, about one dollar, knowing that I was getting ripped off (I can buy two pineapples for the same price). No matter. This was going to be a sacred snack.
Carrying my long-awaited juicy treasure through downtown, I began pondering the consumption. Should I eat it in the plaza? No, the piece was too big. I didn't have anything to cut it with...my 6'3" frame already provided enough clumsy attention.
I boarded my second bus and continued thinking. Should I just wait until I made it home, cut it there? No, there was an inedible, over-ripe watermelon waiting in the fridge. My host mother had bought it and would be confused why I had bought my own. It's a delicate thing, the relationship with a host family -- particularly when it comes to food. No, I couldn't eat it in my kitchen.
A broken woman with less teeth than fingers guided a pig-tailed girl through the crowded bus aisle. She began barking an oh-so-common woe-is-me life story, holding out dirty hands that had done dirty things. Again, the watermelon entered my mind -- should I eat it in the little park a block from my home, where the only thing that could mock my devouring was rainbow walls of graffiti? No...that was too dangerous, that park was empty for a reason.
"We have all made mistakes, all sinned," the words fell from her face like a band's first show, well-practiced but lacking presentation. "Solo Dios es perfecto...Only God is perfect." What if I just ate the watermelon alone in my room? Perhaps cut half of it to save for later, read some more. Here was something I had wanted for hours, had planned for, had savored the very thought of savoring it. What was the answer to my predicament?
We slammed on the brakes and words came rushing at me -- words from an unnamed taxi driver.
"The way I see it, every question, every worry, has a very clear solution. You have control of your actions. And if your question has no answer, if it isn't something you can fix, then why worry about it?"
Once more I saw eyes staring at me, but not the empty stare of seeds that would never be planted. No, these were the eyes of the innocent youngling gripping at her mother's drug-scarred body. As her mom drilled and droned, the daughter looked at me. I looked back. The tattered soul that jabbered on, the tired empty shell that life had gnawed on and spat out, the ex-convict, the mother, the person in front of me -- she had been that little girl once. She had let her own mother play with her hair, she had found joy in a lollipop, she had held someone's hand, held it tight.
At that instant the answer was clear. As fingers fumbled through coin purses that held the promises of meals, textbooks, and future days, I took one last look at the watermelon.
"Para su familia," I offered, "For your family."
The woman placed her hand on my head and gave me a genuine grin that life had filled with empty spaces. "Dios te bendiga, mi amor...God bless you, sweetheart."
I saw Jesus in that woman. And you know what? I decided that was what I was really craving all along.
--Hannah
This morning I woke up with a craving for sandia. Watermelon.
So I decided to get some.
First I woke up at 5:30 and finished making a math test for my students. Then I thought of the watermelon.
Next I went on a run in the hot hot heat. Still, I thought of the watermelon.
Then I sat myself on the bus and planned out the purchase. I would get to work, give my girls their test, and then buy the plump red perfection on my way home through downtown.
I got to La Carpio. My students presented their Infomercial assignments; I had told them to "sell" various geometric shapes, cramming lots of information about each two-dimensional form in a short amount of time. One group promised the rest of the class that a quadrilateral was the best deal on the market -- "We'll throw in not one, not two, not three, but FOUR angles!" That made me laugh.
Still, I thought of the watermelon.
After that, we spent thirty minutes on their vocabulary test. I read my book. And tasted the watermelon in my near future.
Once that was done, I hopped back on the bus. Only forty-five minutes left of this grueling anticipation.
Finally I had made it: I was in front of the fruit stand. It was staring me right in the face, as if every black seed from the quarter slice was an unblinking eye, begging to be consumed. I forked over 600 colones, about one dollar, knowing that I was getting ripped off (I can buy two pineapples for the same price). No matter. This was going to be a sacred snack.
Carrying my long-awaited juicy treasure through downtown, I began pondering the consumption. Should I eat it in the plaza? No, the piece was too big. I didn't have anything to cut it with...my 6'3" frame already provided enough clumsy attention.
I boarded my second bus and continued thinking. Should I just wait until I made it home, cut it there? No, there was an inedible, over-ripe watermelon waiting in the fridge. My host mother had bought it and would be confused why I had bought my own. It's a delicate thing, the relationship with a host family -- particularly when it comes to food. No, I couldn't eat it in my kitchen.
A broken woman with less teeth than fingers guided a pig-tailed girl through the crowded bus aisle. She began barking an oh-so-common woe-is-me life story, holding out dirty hands that had done dirty things. Again, the watermelon entered my mind -- should I eat it in the little park a block from my home, where the only thing that could mock my devouring was rainbow walls of graffiti? No...that was too dangerous, that park was empty for a reason.
"We have all made mistakes, all sinned," the words fell from her face like a band's first show, well-practiced but lacking presentation. "Solo Dios es perfecto...Only God is perfect." What if I just ate the watermelon alone in my room? Perhaps cut half of it to save for later, read some more. Here was something I had wanted for hours, had planned for, had savored the very thought of savoring it. What was the answer to my predicament?
We slammed on the brakes and words came rushing at me -- words from an unnamed taxi driver.
"The way I see it, every question, every worry, has a very clear solution. You have control of your actions. And if your question has no answer, if it isn't something you can fix, then why worry about it?"
Once more I saw eyes staring at me, but not the empty stare of seeds that would never be planted. No, these were the eyes of the innocent youngling gripping at her mother's drug-scarred body. As her mom drilled and droned, the daughter looked at me. I looked back. The tattered soul that jabbered on, the tired empty shell that life had gnawed on and spat out, the ex-convict, the mother, the person in front of me -- she had been that little girl once. She had let her own mother play with her hair, she had found joy in a lollipop, she had held someone's hand, held it tight.
At that instant the answer was clear. As fingers fumbled through coin purses that held the promises of meals, textbooks, and future days, I took one last look at the watermelon.
"Para su familia," I offered, "For your family."
The woman placed her hand on my head and gave me a genuine grin that life had filled with empty spaces. "Dios te bendiga, mi amor...God bless you, sweetheart."
I saw Jesus in that woman. And you know what? I decided that was what I was really craving all along.
--Hannah
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Day 107.
Today I...
...saw God's love in the warm face of a silent bus driver, peering upturned at a mother and child through an oversized mirror -- watching, waiting, ensuring that the little bum was seated, snug and safe before the bus continued to lurch along.
...missed Tom and Lauren so much! It's amazing how being placed in a foreign place makes strangers so close.
...realized I am going to miss the daily 85 degree weather...
...learned that DePaul is giving me more money! I'm starting my housing application -- it's so weird realizing that my future really is unfolding.
...smiled at this amazing piece of writing from "A Thousand Splendid Suns":
While I don't agree with this quote (especially not after seeing my cousin Kit and Chelsea's wedding pictures -- BEAUTIFUL!), I do feel like so many mothers have offered this advice to the girls I teach, and that those girls in turn have/will say the same thing to their daughters. And looking at their experiences, I believe that some of them have reason.
--Hannah
...saw God's love in the warm face of a silent bus driver, peering upturned at a mother and child through an oversized mirror -- watching, waiting, ensuring that the little bum was seated, snug and safe before the bus continued to lurch along.
...missed Tom and Lauren so much! It's amazing how being placed in a foreign place makes strangers so close.
...realized I am going to miss the daily 85 degree weather...
...learned that DePaul is giving me more money! I'm starting my housing application -- it's so weird realizing that my future really is unfolding.
...smiled at this amazing piece of writing from "A Thousand Splendid Suns":
"Let me tell you something. A man's heart is a wretched, wretched thing Miriam. It isn't like a mother's womb. It won't bleed, it won't stretch to make room for you."
While I don't agree with this quote (especially not after seeing my cousin Kit and Chelsea's wedding pictures -- BEAUTIFUL!), I do feel like so many mothers have offered this advice to the girls I teach, and that those girls in turn have/will say the same thing to their daughters. And looking at their experiences, I believe that some of them have reason.
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Day 105.
105 Things about Costa Rica
I'm terribly sorry about the lack of updates. Between my family's visit, saying good-bye to some of my new best friends, and the fact that my internet has been down for the last five days, I haven't really had a chance to connect with the rest of the world.
Today is my 105th day in this country. For this reason, I am going to list 105 things that have happened, are happening, or are going to happen.
Enjoy.
1) My family visited. Amazing.
2) I started playing a board game called "Catan". You have to overthrow a medieval land, trade sheep for wood, and earn victory points. Believe me, it's MUCH cooler than it sounds.
3) Went to Panama for three nights with my bros and 'rents and Tom. Came back not a shade tanner, plastered in mosquito bites, and full of fun family memories.
4) Lauren left. So did Tom.
5) Looking back on the friendship I formed with that young man, I realized all the life lessons he taught me. Here are a few:
6) "Your parents are going to watch you grow up (Whether they are ready to or not)."
7) On college: "Just go to class."
8) "Even though finding fun in doing the 'right thing' can be harder, it's always more memorable."
9) "Why not get creative when drawing our your future?"
10) "If you're having a bad day, make it the BEST bad day ever."
11) Another amazing friend who I've learned a lot from is the incredible Elisabeth Raff. We met in June right before I left, but the way we get along you'd think I had spent two decades with her, not two months. Via facebook, we bounce back and forth bits of knowledge that life throws at us, learning and growing over the thousands of miles between us. She sent me a music mix that has become the new soundtrack to my life. Some songs you should listen to are:
12) "What'd I Say, Pts. 1 & 2" by Ray Charles
13) "La Vie En Rose" by Louis Armstrong
14) "Married Life" by Michael Giacchino (sounds sort of like "Giacolone...")
15) "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jazon Mraz
16) "My Only Offer" by Mates of State
17) ...and this lyric: "Every day I see my dream." That's sticking hard in my head right now.
18) Classes started up again. I'm now officially teaching a seventh grade math class (before I was just working with a handful of girls who had come too late to present their exams -- now I have them along with the original class, none of which passed).
19) I'm going to see that every one of them passes come April.
20) The film "Stand and Deliver" had somewhat of a profound affect on me.
21) My friend Tom Kovach got a 800 on his math SATs. My friend Nik Massey turned 18. I remember them both as twelve-year-olds.
22) Another letter came from Joy Brandli, my youth group leader and life-long hero. When describing my blog, she used the words "heartwarming and heartbreaking, but definitely from the heart." <3 that woman and her future. :)
23) Another woman I feel SO much love towards -- Carmen, the cook out in Carpio. She has three sons and a daughter (18, 15, 13, and 12 years old respectively), and they adopted another young man into their family who is 16. Carmen represents the raw truth that is life in La Carpio: take what God has given you, the broken bits and pieces, and you can create a home that is far more beautiful than anything out of Better Homes and Gardens.
24) Yesterday my tica mom brought home a big jar of crunchy peanut butter for me. My heart soared.
25) Today she presented me with a single apple, something that I know costs 500 colones (around 80 cents). I bought an entire KILOGRAM of "Mamones Chinos" (fruits that you might mistake for sea anemones) for the same price.
26) Today I rode the bus with a crucifix and playboy bunny decals right next to each other.
27) Some times, I mistake people for heaps of clothes and heaps of clothes for people.
28) I recognize homeless people from six years ago.
29) I'm finally running again! Yay for friends who push you (Alanna).
30) The two of us have spawned a bizarre fascination with the Arthur theme song.
31) Alanna's starting a choir with the girls.
32) I've gotten really good at mindsweeper.
33) Susie (a missionary who has been here for 30+ years) had her brother come down last week, and he installed Microsoft Office and Open Office onto all my computers! NO MORE WORDPAD! HALLELUJAH!
34) On Saturday night, I went and watched Melisa (my Peruvian friend) play a little Peruvian guitar (smaller/cooler than my uke) with a group of nine women all performing traditional Peruvian music. SO COOL.
35) I also froze my butt off while watching the concert. Turns out this country can be cold.
36) Interesting fact about Costa Rica: there are restrictions on driving. Depending on the last digit of your license plate, there are different days of the week when you can't be on the road. Clever.
37) My host mother and siblings are all working in the polls for the upcoming elections in February.
38) Which is also when the Olympics will be happening! Yay!
39) I've learned that the longer you live with your parents, the more you fight with them.
40) And that I'm NEVER going to put a TV in front of my kitchen table. Sorry future husband.
41) 500 Days of Summer is a beautiful little story about love. It is NOT a love story.
42) Christmas is in less than a month, but I honestly feel like it's still summer. On TV, there's a commercial where a choir of women sunnily skip through a blue-skyed park, singing "Walking in a winter wonderland..." Oh irony.
43) The World Race crew leaves on Wednesday. Alanna heads home for Christmas for two weeks. I'm gonna be chilling -- err, probably sweating -- here on my own.
44) Except not! I have my host family to love, Kathy and her daughter who is visiting for the first time (praise God!), and the Lopezes (Tom's host family). They provide a HUGE christmas dinner to homeless people in the park where I catch the bus to Carpio. It's impossible to look at them and not see Christ shining through their smiles.
45) My bookshelf is a lot more snug now...thank you everyone who sent books down! You have no idea how much I appreciate that.
46) Other things that came with my parents:
47) Frangos. YUM.
48) New headphones...couldn't be happier.
49) The two latest editions of Relevant, full of truth-nuggets that I want to share with you:
50) "What is a cuss word? People keep saying Jesus didn't EVER use them but where is the list? If you have never been mad enough to cuss you haven't seen the world the way Jesus saw it. The hypocrisy made him furious."
51) "What I would really like to see are the major retailers providing ethical options that cost a little more. We have organic/natural aisles in all of our local grocery stores, so why can't we have a few racks of socially and environmentally conscious clothing?"
52) "I believe God can speak to us in the still, small voice in our soul, through words of wisdom from other people, through the indescribable beauty of creation and through the Bible. I believe He speaks to us through movies and even reality TV shows (He did speak through a donkey), when we're staring blankly into space paralyzed by life circumstances, daydreaming while mopping the kitchen floor, crunching numbers and bothered by a case of the Mondays, or while experiencing road rage in a traffic jam. God can speak to us whenever and where ever."
53) In February Alanna and I are making a trip to Nicaragua to renew my visa (I was two days over my 90 day tourist visa when we crossed at the Panama border. The guard threatened to banish me from the Costa Rica for a year. That was a cool feeling.)
54) My bug bites from the hike/Panama trip have evolved into swollen pustules that look like something Fred and George would have created for their Weasley's Snackboxes.
55) Sometimes I look at my bus window and see concrete poles pass by. Then I look up and realize they're actually ginormous palm trees.
56) My ears have gotten used to the constant sizzle of oil in a pan.
57) So many of the mutts here have unproportionately large bodies and itty bitty heads. I'm not a big dog fan to begin with, but let me tell you -- these things are UHHH-GUH-LY! (Read that last word like how the hyenas say it in the Lion King when talking about how much they hate lions).
58) The math class I'm teaching is dwindling. So far two of the girls have dropped out, getting jobs for the holiday season at clothing stores. They are working twelve hour days six days a week. One of them is eighteen-years-old. The other is fifteen.
59) Have you ever tasted fresh starfruit juice? I have. It's really really good.
60) I'm going to miss noticing new graffiti, such as the portrait of the Little Prince (remember that book?) that I saw last week.
61) It's interesting how people here really have NO idea where anything in the States is. Whenever I say "I'm from Washington. Not the city, but the state," they'll say "Oh! By Michigan!" or "Oh! Right next to Texas!" No. Just no.
62) Also, people here are taught that there are six continents; North and South America are just called "America" which makes every person living on these lands an "American", not just those of us who deck ourselves in red, white, and blue on July 4th.
63) While I was at Melisa's mom's house on Saturday eating lunch, we flipped on the TV and guess what was on! FREE WILLY!
64) I teach an English class to two Costa Rican women who teach the girls during the week. Today we were working on pronunciation, reading passages from my bilingual Bible. Ana Virginia, one of the most studious, focused people I have ever met, could not pronounce the word "the" for the life of her. I don't know how, but it ALWAYS sounded just like she was saying "duck". Go figure.
65) Then, when we were reading the "Parable of the Lost Sheep", I could have sworn she said "Parable of the Lost Shit."
66) More and more I recognize friends when I'm walking through downtown. It makes me realize how much I miss going to Safeway in Anacortes.
67) Imaginary friends are frowned upon in Costa Rican culture.
68) I love smiles on little bodies with big heads.
69) There is NO way I am EVER going to pay $4 for a cup of coffee. OK, I don't drink coffee, but still...when you think about it, that's ridiculous.
70) The word "OK" looks like a stick figure. Tom Kovach gets credit for that one.
71) There's this boy with heavily-geled hair who perches on top of the iron-barred gate at the property in Carpio, bellowing for the keys so he can enter and play soccer. I always think of an iguana when I see him.
72) Seven-year-olds should never wear miniskirts.
73) But they do.
74) I can very distinctly remember talking with my good friend Briana Hobbs as a 7-year-old, wondering what it would be like to be "grown up", to finally understand all those things that our parents promised we would once "we were older", to have to wear a bra, and to move out of our rooms. We were just girls, and to be honest, I still feel so little sometimes (on the inside...I'll never be little on the outside). What about the day when some one calls me "Mom"? Will I remember then where I am now? While I sit in the sunshine and ponder these things, the one-year-old son of one of my students staggers into my lap, grabbing my giraffe knees with his baby koala hands. I look at his mother, a weary face with a tired smile and wonder if she ever asked the same questions to herself. Or if she ever remembers being a curious little girl. Or if maybe she still is one.
75) Every two weeks, I let myself turn on my cell phone that I had for two months this summer, open the inbox, close my eyes, and read a random text. Then I turn off the little electronic memories and put them back in their place.
76) My tica mom is starting to put up Christmas decorations around the house. It's making me realize how hard the holidays are going to be without my family.
77) This memory washed over me today: sledding down the hills at the high school with Tom, Julius, and Darien -- snow days were starting and the year was ending. What I'd give to be back in that place again.
78) I know I'll be using that phrase about Costa Rica sooner than I want: "What I'd give to be back in that place again."
79) One of the girls who has been involved in gang-activity had been incredibly huggy to me as of late. Last week I only showed up one day because of the whole Panama/saying goodbye to the fam thing, and this particular student asked Alanna, "Where's Hannah? I miss her." Alanna said, "I know -- you two get along really well." And with that, the girl grinned "Well of course! Hannah's the best!" When Alanna told me that, I think I felt a greater swell within me than when I got that standing ovation at graduation.
80) I'm starting to watch more Spanish TV. And understanding it. Sort of.
81) Here, I see trees growing out of trees.
82) Advent started on Sunday. I love my parents.
83) There are good-bye letters from August that I don't read. They sit in a drawer and sigh, but I can't give them the attention they want. I just can't.
84) "Thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
85) Another quote from miss Elisabeth Raff: "Sometimes people are put in our lives to introduce us to other people. That's their job -- to give us a connection."
86) "8 million stories out there, in there naked. City is a pity, half of you all won't make it."
87) Last night I had a dream about three amigos who are on the journey of a life time -- Stephen Steen, Mike Ferrario, and Tyler Jones are all bicycling from Anacortes, WA to Lima, Peru. Crazy? Yes. Dangerous? Incredibly. Adventuresome? To say the least. Check out their blog at promisenottodie.blogspot.com. Hopefully I'll get to see them when they pass through Costa Rica!
88) So many of my deepest, most personal conversations happen in some sort of public transportation here. I know it's not true, but I'm under the impression that the language barrier prevents people from understanding the rawness of what I'm saying and how so much of my heart is hanging in the air. The same thing happened when I visited Japan.
89) Speaking of Japan, I realized the main reason why I'm so gung-ho when it comes to trying new food here is because of that two-week trip.
90) SKYPE IS SO COOL.
91) My ukulele has definitely been a boredom-buster here. I've written a few new songs that I think will be great hits at the Farmers Market come May. Or maybe I'll just stick with Puff the Magic Dragon.
92) Henry thought that the coins here were fake -- they're made of aluminum and probably float like the yen did in Japan.
93) I've already seen copies of New Moon on the streets here.
94) Tuesdays are always special -- they mean I've been here for another week. Today the number is 15.
95) Tomorrow is Wednesday, two for one movie day at the rental place. I've been having a hankering for Aladdin.
96) You can buy anything one at a time here from the local mini-marts: eggs, cigarettes, you name it.
97) One such mini-mart is awesomely called "Mini Super Fly". Possible name for first-born child? Yes.
98) There are days when I sit on the bus and imagine my family climbing on, but as we were six years ago. I see my little twelve-year-old self and wonder what she would think if she saw who I am today.
99) Or if she would even recognize me.
100) And then I see another me get on the bus -- the future me, with a husband and kids of my own.
101) It's good watching people grow up.
102) Every day I peel off layers of dirt from the bottoms of my feet. So pleasant.
103) Look out your window at the full moon. It's the same moon I'm looking at right now.
104) On Sunday, my pastor used this phrase that really struck me: "Looking at people like Mother Theresa, all the good she's done, all the people she's touched...all of her self-lessness and inspiring acts, I realize something: the same spirit that shines through her is tucked inside of me."
105) Coming out of high school, I realized how much of my being I spend trying to be accepted by people that impress me. We all do this. We see some one and decide we want to have some connection to them -- we want to be at their level, we want to relate to them. So we spend hours wikipedia-ing music genres, we rifle and sort through what we wear, we attune our ears to new vocabulary and throw it into our own, we copy and paste "about me"s and we try to impress back.
Here though, the people I admire, the people I want to imitate -- those are the people who love me for everything I am. And everything I'm not.
Take Carmen for example.
She loves me because I gobble up everything she cooks, because I'm an older sister to her daughter, because I'm an offspring of the remembered and revered "familia Holtgeerts."
She also loves me because my Spanish is far from perfect, because I can only be here for five more short months, because I take pictures with a camera worth more than her husband's salary, and because I will NEVER be able to relate to what she's been through, no matter what life throws at me.
I want to be like Carmen, like my own mother, like Jesus -- I want to be one of those people who turns attraction inside out. Rather than spending energy trying to impress others, I want to take that wasted time and those futile efforts and put it towards a greater goal: making people realize how they can impress themselves.
That's what I want right now.
--Hannah
I'm terribly sorry about the lack of updates. Between my family's visit, saying good-bye to some of my new best friends, and the fact that my internet has been down for the last five days, I haven't really had a chance to connect with the rest of the world.
Today is my 105th day in this country. For this reason, I am going to list 105 things that have happened, are happening, or are going to happen.
Enjoy.
1) My family visited. Amazing.
2) I started playing a board game called "Catan". You have to overthrow a medieval land, trade sheep for wood, and earn victory points. Believe me, it's MUCH cooler than it sounds.
3) Went to Panama for three nights with my bros and 'rents and Tom. Came back not a shade tanner, plastered in mosquito bites, and full of fun family memories.
4) Lauren left. So did Tom.
5) Looking back on the friendship I formed with that young man, I realized all the life lessons he taught me. Here are a few:
6) "Your parents are going to watch you grow up (Whether they are ready to or not)."
7) On college: "Just go to class."
8) "Even though finding fun in doing the 'right thing' can be harder, it's always more memorable."
9) "Why not get creative when drawing our your future?"
10) "If you're having a bad day, make it the BEST bad day ever."
11) Another amazing friend who I've learned a lot from is the incredible Elisabeth Raff. We met in June right before I left, but the way we get along you'd think I had spent two decades with her, not two months. Via facebook, we bounce back and forth bits of knowledge that life throws at us, learning and growing over the thousands of miles between us. She sent me a music mix that has become the new soundtrack to my life. Some songs you should listen to are:
12) "What'd I Say, Pts. 1 & 2" by Ray Charles
13) "La Vie En Rose" by Louis Armstrong
14) "Married Life" by Michael Giacchino (sounds sort of like "Giacolone...")
15) "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jazon Mraz
16) "My Only Offer" by Mates of State
17) ...and this lyric: "Every day I see my dream." That's sticking hard in my head right now.
18) Classes started up again. I'm now officially teaching a seventh grade math class (before I was just working with a handful of girls who had come too late to present their exams -- now I have them along with the original class, none of which passed).
19) I'm going to see that every one of them passes come April.
20) The film "Stand and Deliver" had somewhat of a profound affect on me.
21) My friend Tom Kovach got a 800 on his math SATs. My friend Nik Massey turned 18. I remember them both as twelve-year-olds.
22) Another letter came from Joy Brandli, my youth group leader and life-long hero. When describing my blog, she used the words "heartwarming and heartbreaking, but definitely from the heart." <3 that woman and her future. :)
23) Another woman I feel SO much love towards -- Carmen, the cook out in Carpio. She has three sons and a daughter (18, 15, 13, and 12 years old respectively), and they adopted another young man into their family who is 16. Carmen represents the raw truth that is life in La Carpio: take what God has given you, the broken bits and pieces, and you can create a home that is far more beautiful than anything out of Better Homes and Gardens.
24) Yesterday my tica mom brought home a big jar of crunchy peanut butter for me. My heart soared.
25) Today she presented me with a single apple, something that I know costs 500 colones (around 80 cents). I bought an entire KILOGRAM of "Mamones Chinos" (fruits that you might mistake for sea anemones) for the same price.
26) Today I rode the bus with a crucifix and playboy bunny decals right next to each other.
27) Some times, I mistake people for heaps of clothes and heaps of clothes for people.
28) I recognize homeless people from six years ago.
29) I'm finally running again! Yay for friends who push you (Alanna).
30) The two of us have spawned a bizarre fascination with the Arthur theme song.
31) Alanna's starting a choir with the girls.
32) I've gotten really good at mindsweeper.
33) Susie (a missionary who has been here for 30+ years) had her brother come down last week, and he installed Microsoft Office and Open Office onto all my computers! NO MORE WORDPAD! HALLELUJAH!
34) On Saturday night, I went and watched Melisa (my Peruvian friend) play a little Peruvian guitar (smaller/cooler than my uke) with a group of nine women all performing traditional Peruvian music. SO COOL.
35) I also froze my butt off while watching the concert. Turns out this country can be cold.
36) Interesting fact about Costa Rica: there are restrictions on driving. Depending on the last digit of your license plate, there are different days of the week when you can't be on the road. Clever.
37) My host mother and siblings are all working in the polls for the upcoming elections in February.
38) Which is also when the Olympics will be happening! Yay!
39) I've learned that the longer you live with your parents, the more you fight with them.
40) And that I'm NEVER going to put a TV in front of my kitchen table. Sorry future husband.
41) 500 Days of Summer is a beautiful little story about love. It is NOT a love story.
42) Christmas is in less than a month, but I honestly feel like it's still summer. On TV, there's a commercial where a choir of women sunnily skip through a blue-skyed park, singing "Walking in a winter wonderland..." Oh irony.
43) The World Race crew leaves on Wednesday. Alanna heads home for Christmas for two weeks. I'm gonna be chilling -- err, probably sweating -- here on my own.
44) Except not! I have my host family to love, Kathy and her daughter who is visiting for the first time (praise God!), and the Lopezes (Tom's host family). They provide a HUGE christmas dinner to homeless people in the park where I catch the bus to Carpio. It's impossible to look at them and not see Christ shining through their smiles.
45) My bookshelf is a lot more snug now...thank you everyone who sent books down! You have no idea how much I appreciate that.
46) Other things that came with my parents:
47) Frangos. YUM.
48) New headphones...couldn't be happier.
49) The two latest editions of Relevant, full of truth-nuggets that I want to share with you:
50) "What is a cuss word? People keep saying Jesus didn't EVER use them but where is the list? If you have never been mad enough to cuss you haven't seen the world the way Jesus saw it. The hypocrisy made him furious."
51) "What I would really like to see are the major retailers providing ethical options that cost a little more. We have organic/natural aisles in all of our local grocery stores, so why can't we have a few racks of socially and environmentally conscious clothing?"
52) "I believe God can speak to us in the still, small voice in our soul, through words of wisdom from other people, through the indescribable beauty of creation and through the Bible. I believe He speaks to us through movies and even reality TV shows (He did speak through a donkey), when we're staring blankly into space paralyzed by life circumstances, daydreaming while mopping the kitchen floor, crunching numbers and bothered by a case of the Mondays, or while experiencing road rage in a traffic jam. God can speak to us whenever and where ever."
53) In February Alanna and I are making a trip to Nicaragua to renew my visa (I was two days over my 90 day tourist visa when we crossed at the Panama border. The guard threatened to banish me from the Costa Rica for a year. That was a cool feeling.)
54) My bug bites from the hike/Panama trip have evolved into swollen pustules that look like something Fred and George would have created for their Weasley's Snackboxes.
55) Sometimes I look at my bus window and see concrete poles pass by. Then I look up and realize they're actually ginormous palm trees.
56) My ears have gotten used to the constant sizzle of oil in a pan.
57) So many of the mutts here have unproportionately large bodies and itty bitty heads. I'm not a big dog fan to begin with, but let me tell you -- these things are UHHH-GUH-LY! (Read that last word like how the hyenas say it in the Lion King when talking about how much they hate lions).
58) The math class I'm teaching is dwindling. So far two of the girls have dropped out, getting jobs for the holiday season at clothing stores. They are working twelve hour days six days a week. One of them is eighteen-years-old. The other is fifteen.
59) Have you ever tasted fresh starfruit juice? I have. It's really really good.
60) I'm going to miss noticing new graffiti, such as the portrait of the Little Prince (remember that book?) that I saw last week.
61) It's interesting how people here really have NO idea where anything in the States is. Whenever I say "I'm from Washington. Not the city, but the state," they'll say "Oh! By Michigan!" or "Oh! Right next to Texas!" No. Just no.
62) Also, people here are taught that there are six continents; North and South America are just called "America" which makes every person living on these lands an "American", not just those of us who deck ourselves in red, white, and blue on July 4th.
63) While I was at Melisa's mom's house on Saturday eating lunch, we flipped on the TV and guess what was on! FREE WILLY!
64) I teach an English class to two Costa Rican women who teach the girls during the week. Today we were working on pronunciation, reading passages from my bilingual Bible. Ana Virginia, one of the most studious, focused people I have ever met, could not pronounce the word "the" for the life of her. I don't know how, but it ALWAYS sounded just like she was saying "duck". Go figure.
65) Then, when we were reading the "Parable of the Lost Sheep", I could have sworn she said "Parable of the Lost Shit."
66) More and more I recognize friends when I'm walking through downtown. It makes me realize how much I miss going to Safeway in Anacortes.
67) Imaginary friends are frowned upon in Costa Rican culture.
68) I love smiles on little bodies with big heads.
69) There is NO way I am EVER going to pay $4 for a cup of coffee. OK, I don't drink coffee, but still...when you think about it, that's ridiculous.
70) The word "OK" looks like a stick figure. Tom Kovach gets credit for that one.
71) There's this boy with heavily-geled hair who perches on top of the iron-barred gate at the property in Carpio, bellowing for the keys so he can enter and play soccer. I always think of an iguana when I see him.
72) Seven-year-olds should never wear miniskirts.
73) But they do.
74) I can very distinctly remember talking with my good friend Briana Hobbs as a 7-year-old, wondering what it would be like to be "grown up", to finally understand all those things that our parents promised we would once "we were older", to have to wear a bra, and to move out of our rooms. We were just girls, and to be honest, I still feel so little sometimes (on the inside...I'll never be little on the outside). What about the day when some one calls me "Mom"? Will I remember then where I am now? While I sit in the sunshine and ponder these things, the one-year-old son of one of my students staggers into my lap, grabbing my giraffe knees with his baby koala hands. I look at his mother, a weary face with a tired smile and wonder if she ever asked the same questions to herself. Or if she ever remembers being a curious little girl. Or if maybe she still is one.
75) Every two weeks, I let myself turn on my cell phone that I had for two months this summer, open the inbox, close my eyes, and read a random text. Then I turn off the little electronic memories and put them back in their place.
76) My tica mom is starting to put up Christmas decorations around the house. It's making me realize how hard the holidays are going to be without my family.
77) This memory washed over me today: sledding down the hills at the high school with Tom, Julius, and Darien -- snow days were starting and the year was ending. What I'd give to be back in that place again.
78) I know I'll be using that phrase about Costa Rica sooner than I want: "What I'd give to be back in that place again."
79) One of the girls who has been involved in gang-activity had been incredibly huggy to me as of late. Last week I only showed up one day because of the whole Panama/saying goodbye to the fam thing, and this particular student asked Alanna, "Where's Hannah? I miss her." Alanna said, "I know -- you two get along really well." And with that, the girl grinned "Well of course! Hannah's the best!" When Alanna told me that, I think I felt a greater swell within me than when I got that standing ovation at graduation.
80) I'm starting to watch more Spanish TV. And understanding it. Sort of.
81) Here, I see trees growing out of trees.
82) Advent started on Sunday. I love my parents.
83) There are good-bye letters from August that I don't read. They sit in a drawer and sigh, but I can't give them the attention they want. I just can't.
84) "Thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
85) Another quote from miss Elisabeth Raff: "Sometimes people are put in our lives to introduce us to other people. That's their job -- to give us a connection."
86) "8 million stories out there, in there naked. City is a pity, half of you all won't make it."
87) Last night I had a dream about three amigos who are on the journey of a life time -- Stephen Steen, Mike Ferrario, and Tyler Jones are all bicycling from Anacortes, WA to Lima, Peru. Crazy? Yes. Dangerous? Incredibly. Adventuresome? To say the least. Check out their blog at promisenottodie.blogspot.com. Hopefully I'll get to see them when they pass through Costa Rica!
88) So many of my deepest, most personal conversations happen in some sort of public transportation here. I know it's not true, but I'm under the impression that the language barrier prevents people from understanding the rawness of what I'm saying and how so much of my heart is hanging in the air. The same thing happened when I visited Japan.
89) Speaking of Japan, I realized the main reason why I'm so gung-ho when it comes to trying new food here is because of that two-week trip.
90) SKYPE IS SO COOL.
91) My ukulele has definitely been a boredom-buster here. I've written a few new songs that I think will be great hits at the Farmers Market come May. Or maybe I'll just stick with Puff the Magic Dragon.
92) Henry thought that the coins here were fake -- they're made of aluminum and probably float like the yen did in Japan.
93) I've already seen copies of New Moon on the streets here.
94) Tuesdays are always special -- they mean I've been here for another week. Today the number is 15.
95) Tomorrow is Wednesday, two for one movie day at the rental place. I've been having a hankering for Aladdin.
96) You can buy anything one at a time here from the local mini-marts: eggs, cigarettes, you name it.
97) One such mini-mart is awesomely called "Mini Super Fly". Possible name for first-born child? Yes.
98) There are days when I sit on the bus and imagine my family climbing on, but as we were six years ago. I see my little twelve-year-old self and wonder what she would think if she saw who I am today.
99) Or if she would even recognize me.
100) And then I see another me get on the bus -- the future me, with a husband and kids of my own.
101) It's good watching people grow up.
102) Every day I peel off layers of dirt from the bottoms of my feet. So pleasant.
103) Look out your window at the full moon. It's the same moon I'm looking at right now.
104) On Sunday, my pastor used this phrase that really struck me: "Looking at people like Mother Theresa, all the good she's done, all the people she's touched...all of her self-lessness and inspiring acts, I realize something: the same spirit that shines through her is tucked inside of me."
105) Coming out of high school, I realized how much of my being I spend trying to be accepted by people that impress me. We all do this. We see some one and decide we want to have some connection to them -- we want to be at their level, we want to relate to them. So we spend hours wikipedia-ing music genres, we rifle and sort through what we wear, we attune our ears to new vocabulary and throw it into our own, we copy and paste "about me"s and we try to impress back.
Here though, the people I admire, the people I want to imitate -- those are the people who love me for everything I am. And everything I'm not.
Take Carmen for example.
She loves me because I gobble up everything she cooks, because I'm an older sister to her daughter, because I'm an offspring of the remembered and revered "familia Holtgeerts."
She also loves me because my Spanish is far from perfect, because I can only be here for five more short months, because I take pictures with a camera worth more than her husband's salary, and because I will NEVER be able to relate to what she's been through, no matter what life throws at me.
I want to be like Carmen, like my own mother, like Jesus -- I want to be one of those people who turns attraction inside out. Rather than spending energy trying to impress others, I want to take that wasted time and those futile efforts and put it towards a greater goal: making people realize how they can impress themselves.
That's what I want right now.
--Hannah
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Day 95.
Today I....
...saw huge smiles on my parents' faces as they greeted long lost friends.
...missed the way family dinners were once a common occurrence.
...realized I am going to miss my host family a LOT when I say goodbye to them. I don't want to think about that right now.
...learned that I have 5.5 months left. What was I doing 5.5 months ago? Graduating high school. Now THAT'S weird.
...smiled as final plans for our Panama trip are being pieced together! We leave tomorrow morning and come back Wednesday night. No internet. No TV. But LOTS OF BEACH.
Yah!
--Hannah
...saw huge smiles on my parents' faces as they greeted long lost friends.
...missed the way family dinners were once a common occurrence.
...realized I am going to miss my host family a LOT when I say goodbye to them. I don't want to think about that right now.
...learned that I have 5.5 months left. What was I doing 5.5 months ago? Graduating high school. Now THAT'S weird.
...smiled as final plans for our Panama trip are being pieced together! We leave tomorrow morning and come back Wednesday night. No internet. No TV. But LOTS OF BEACH.
Yah!
--Hannah
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Day 93.
Update Time.
-Tuesday there was a strike on the way to Carpio....long story short I had to get out of the bus, walk a kilometer or so, and then luckily some friends found me and I hitched a ride with them in Carpio that way. The strike was put on by the teachers and bus drivers, two groups of people who have not received the protection they need. Last week a bus driver was shot five times and another was attacked this week as well.
-Three hours after I was riding in my friend's truck bed through dirt and dust, I was at at a very high-end mall with some friends for lunch where I spent half an hour playing in an Apple Store on the MacBook Pro I want to get next summer. Yup.
-Test results came back. No one passed math. I have my work cut out for me this semester.
-One girl thought she had passed all three, but when she got her results, it turned out she had only passed one. She told us, "It didn't hurt when my mom beat me. It hurt when I looked at my dad's face."
-I bought and ate an apple with a Washington sticker on it. Delish.
-Today I hiked with Lauren, Alanna, Tom, Jeffry (a friend from Carpio -- he's the boy I have my arm around in my grad announcement for any of you who have those), and Gustavo, the director of New Horizons. I had heard little about the hike, except that at the top was a giant cross and a breath-taking view. We started at 8:30 in Escazu. Six hours later we had climbed up and down three different mountains, crossed two rivers, and ended up in Alajuelita covered in bug bites, mud, and blood. It was one of the best days yet.
-Tomorrow for SURE will be one of my best days here....it's the day my family comes! Twenty-four hours from now I will be laughing with them, introducing them to my tico family, and seeing my two worlds meet. I can't wait. :)
--Hannah
-Tuesday there was a strike on the way to Carpio....long story short I had to get out of the bus, walk a kilometer or so, and then luckily some friends found me and I hitched a ride with them in Carpio that way. The strike was put on by the teachers and bus drivers, two groups of people who have not received the protection they need. Last week a bus driver was shot five times and another was attacked this week as well.
-Three hours after I was riding in my friend's truck bed through dirt and dust, I was at at a very high-end mall with some friends for lunch where I spent half an hour playing in an Apple Store on the MacBook Pro I want to get next summer. Yup.
-Test results came back. No one passed math. I have my work cut out for me this semester.
-One girl thought she had passed all three, but when she got her results, it turned out she had only passed one. She told us, "It didn't hurt when my mom beat me. It hurt when I looked at my dad's face."
-I bought and ate an apple with a Washington sticker on it. Delish.
-Today I hiked with Lauren, Alanna, Tom, Jeffry (a friend from Carpio -- he's the boy I have my arm around in my grad announcement for any of you who have those), and Gustavo, the director of New Horizons. I had heard little about the hike, except that at the top was a giant cross and a breath-taking view. We started at 8:30 in Escazu. Six hours later we had climbed up and down three different mountains, crossed two rivers, and ended up in Alajuelita covered in bug bites, mud, and blood. It was one of the best days yet.
-Tomorrow for SURE will be one of my best days here....it's the day my family comes! Twenty-four hours from now I will be laughing with them, introducing them to my tico family, and seeing my two worlds meet. I can't wait. :)
--Hannah
Monday, November 16, 2009
Day 90.
Today, I...
...saw an apple store in the mall! Okay, that actually happened yesterday, and the store was teeny tiny, but it still made me grin.
...missed old hopes.
...realized I am going to miss speaking Spanish all the time.
...learned that this exists in Chicago: http://chicago.metromix.com/restaurants/ice_cream_frozen_yogurt/cookie-dough-creations-naperville/422629/content
...smiled when a girl from the World Race (an AMAZING program where groups travel the world together, spending one month in twelve different countries, serving God and making friends along the way -- http://www.theworldrace.org/) came back from shopping with a ukulele! That made my day.
--Hannah
...saw an apple store in the mall! Okay, that actually happened yesterday, and the store was teeny tiny, but it still made me grin.
...missed old hopes.
...realized I am going to miss speaking Spanish all the time.
...learned that this exists in Chicago: http://chicago.metromix.com/restaurants/ice_cream_frozen_yogurt/cookie-dough-creations-naperville/422629/content
...smiled when a girl from the World Race (an AMAZING program where groups travel the world together, spending one month in twelve different countries, serving God and making friends along the way -- http://www.theworldrace.org/) came back from shopping with a ukulele! That made my day.
--Hannah
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Day 87.
Today, I...
...saw God in Carmen's home as we crammed 17 people in a tiny living room to watch Blood Diamond. So much love in such a tight space.
...missed renting a movie and knowing that there wouldn't be any pixels/blurs/people getting up and walking in front of the tripod in the movie theater.
...realized I am going to miss my host sister when she moves out in February (that's when she gets married).
...learned what a 5.9 earthquake feels like.
...smiled as I ate another meal that I can remember hating as a child, only to realize that I absolutely love it now. Guess I'm growing up after all.
--Hannah
PS Henry turned 12 yesterday! :D
PPS My cousin Kit got married tonight! Congrats to him and Chelsea (who I know call a cousin-in-law...?)
PPPS I'm going to try something...
...saw God in Carmen's home as we crammed 17 people in a tiny living room to watch Blood Diamond. So much love in such a tight space.
...missed renting a movie and knowing that there wouldn't be any pixels/blurs/people getting up and walking in front of the tripod in the movie theater.
...realized I am going to miss my host sister when she moves out in February (that's when she gets married).
...learned what a 5.9 earthquake feels like.
...smiled as I ate another meal that I can remember hating as a child, only to realize that I absolutely love it now. Guess I'm growing up after all.
--Hannah
PS Henry turned 12 yesterday! :D
PPS My cousin Kit got married tonight! Congrats to him and Chelsea (who I know call a cousin-in-law...?)
PPPS I'm going to try something...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Day 85.
Today, I...
...saw the Great Mouse Detective with Tom. Brought back amazing memories of being twelve with Jeannie and Ali.
...missed my good friend Patrick Lyons. I got to talk to him on skype briefly and he read me his calendar from May. It made me yearn for those moments like I haven't done in a long time.
...realized I am going to miss empanadas (fried masa pockets with a variety of fillings -- my favorite are cheese and beans).
...learned that you can find Biblical themes in the most unlikely places.
...smiled when I checked my mail and got one letter from October 28 and one from September 20. I still have a lot of stuff floating around out there somewhere.
--Hannah
...saw the Great Mouse Detective with Tom. Brought back amazing memories of being twelve with Jeannie and Ali.
...missed my good friend Patrick Lyons. I got to talk to him on skype briefly and he read me his calendar from May. It made me yearn for those moments like I haven't done in a long time.
...realized I am going to miss empanadas (fried masa pockets with a variety of fillings -- my favorite are cheese and beans).
...learned that you can find Biblical themes in the most unlikely places.
...smiled when I checked my mail and got one letter from October 28 and one from September 20. I still have a lot of stuff floating around out there somewhere.
--Hannah
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Day 84.
Today, I...
...saw another production at the National Theater (yay Tuesdays!) except this time a group of the girls from the Refuge joined as a field trip of sorts. The man who checks the bags grinned at me and greeted me with his weekly, "You've returned! I'm glad you love this place so much." I assured him that it's one of the most beautiful places on the planet and then informed him that I was here with my class of girls. "Oh..." he said, "so you're a volunteer." I confirmed this and told him that I worked in La Carpio, then asked if he had heard of it. He paused and lowered his voice, "I've heard of that place. It is a very horrible place. But looking at you, I know you are there for all the right reasons." With that he quoted Matthew 25:35, saying the words of Jesus: "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in." I almost cried at that moment.
...missed the WA State Volleyball Tournament. Way to make it back there AHS! You have no idea how proud I am of each and every girl on that team.
...realized I am going to miss my tica mom. A lot. The other day Tom said, "You know...she's not your real mom." She's not -- she could never come close to replacing my beloved Valerie, but the way that she teaches me, encourages me, and loves me can only be called motherly.
...learned how easy it is to make friends here. While at the theater, another school group full of sixth graders kept staring at me and my blond hair. Finally one youngster piped up, "Doo joo espeek espaneesh?" I told him that I, in fact, did speak Spanish. After the show, I was waiting to meet up with my host mom downtown, and I heard a "Hannah!!!" from across the plaza. The twelve-year-old boy, who probably came up to my elbow, flew with the pigeons and run up to greet me. I'll probably never see him again, but I won't forget his smile.
...smiled when I checked my watch. Only 10 days until I get to see my family!
--Hannah
...saw another production at the National Theater (yay Tuesdays!) except this time a group of the girls from the Refuge joined as a field trip of sorts. The man who checks the bags grinned at me and greeted me with his weekly, "You've returned! I'm glad you love this place so much." I assured him that it's one of the most beautiful places on the planet and then informed him that I was here with my class of girls. "Oh..." he said, "so you're a volunteer." I confirmed this and told him that I worked in La Carpio, then asked if he had heard of it. He paused and lowered his voice, "I've heard of that place. It is a very horrible place. But looking at you, I know you are there for all the right reasons." With that he quoted Matthew 25:35, saying the words of Jesus: "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in." I almost cried at that moment.
...missed the WA State Volleyball Tournament. Way to make it back there AHS! You have no idea how proud I am of each and every girl on that team.
...realized I am going to miss my tica mom. A lot. The other day Tom said, "You know...she's not your real mom." She's not -- she could never come close to replacing my beloved Valerie, but the way that she teaches me, encourages me, and loves me can only be called motherly.
...learned how easy it is to make friends here. While at the theater, another school group full of sixth graders kept staring at me and my blond hair. Finally one youngster piped up, "Doo joo espeek espaneesh?" I told him that I, in fact, did speak Spanish. After the show, I was waiting to meet up with my host mom downtown, and I heard a "Hannah!!!" from across the plaza. The twelve-year-old boy, who probably came up to my elbow, flew with the pigeons and run up to greet me. I'll probably never see him again, but I won't forget his smile.
...smiled when I checked my watch. Only 10 days until I get to see my family!
--Hannah
Monday, November 9, 2009
Day 83.
(Yesterday), I...
...saw three toucans in the rainforest! Tom, Lauren, and I decided against paying big money for guided hikes and went on our own trek through various farmers' plots. While sitting and journaling, we spotted three beautiful toucans. AWESOME.
...missed bus rides that weren't overbooked.
...realized I am going to banana with milk drinks.
...learned what little miracles God can perform everyday (we ran into Marielos in Monte Verde -- she was planning the curriculum for camp).
...smiled when I had to explain to my host mom what a quesadilla is. Costa Rica is NOT Mexico.
--Hannah
...saw three toucans in the rainforest! Tom, Lauren, and I decided against paying big money for guided hikes and went on our own trek through various farmers' plots. While sitting and journaling, we spotted three beautiful toucans. AWESOME.
...missed bus rides that weren't overbooked.
...realized I am going to banana with milk drinks.
...learned what little miracles God can perform everyday (we ran into Marielos in Monte Verde -- she was planning the curriculum for camp).
...smiled when I had to explain to my host mom what a quesadilla is. Costa Rica is NOT Mexico.
--Hannah
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Day 81.
Today, I...
...saw the tippy tops of trees in the canopy as I soared through the clouds on the zipline tour.
...missed being excited about things with Monica Archer and talking about the deep stuff with Mila in my hot tub.
...realized I am going to miss gallo pinto (rice and beans) so so so soooooo much. Tonight we went out to dinner, and that's what I ordered. I'm becoming more and more Costa Rican.
...learned that I can shoot the moon while playing Hearts! Okay, that actually happened last night, but it was one of the greatest moments of my life.
...smiled as I leapt off of a forty foot platform, cascading on a tarzan swing that brought me out out out and up up up in God's creation.
--Hannah
...saw the tippy tops of trees in the canopy as I soared through the clouds on the zipline tour.
...missed being excited about things with Monica Archer and talking about the deep stuff with Mila in my hot tub.
...realized I am going to miss gallo pinto (rice and beans) so so so soooooo much. Tonight we went out to dinner, and that's what I ordered. I'm becoming more and more Costa Rican.
...learned that I can shoot the moon while playing Hearts! Okay, that actually happened last night, but it was one of the greatest moments of my life.
...smiled as I leapt off of a forty foot platform, cascading on a tarzan swing that brought me out out out and up up up in God's creation.
--Hannah
Friday, November 6, 2009
Day 80.
Today, I...
...saw several large insects in the jungle during our 7 mile long hike. And Bigfoot's tracks (aka mine).
...missed Anacortes rain. We're in a RAIN forest, so it's constantly drizzling and it makes me think of wet, wet fidalgo island.
...realized I am going to miss what a delicacy peanut butter is here. It makes me appreciate it so much more.
...learned how cool a hostel can be! We paid $7 each for a bed, free internet, and a bathroom.
...smiled as we began on an adventure that is going stupendous thus far. :)
--Hannah
...saw several large insects in the jungle during our 7 mile long hike. And Bigfoot's tracks (aka mine).
...missed Anacortes rain. We're in a RAIN forest, so it's constantly drizzling and it makes me think of wet, wet fidalgo island.
...realized I am going to miss what a delicacy peanut butter is here. It makes me appreciate it so much more.
...learned how cool a hostel can be! We paid $7 each for a bed, free internet, and a bathroom.
...smiled as we began on an adventure that is going stupendous thus far. :)
--Hannah
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Day 79.
Alright, breaking out of the format again...but this must be done.
I have two big stories to tell. One is the terrifying tale of why I'm not allowed to go running any more. The second is about how incredibly my parents are.
First:
On Saturday (Halloween), Tom decided to go for a little run at around 4 in the afternoon (bright daylight). On his way back home, a car pulled up and four men jumped out in halloween masks. One had a gun hidden by a sweatshirt and he dug it into Tom's side, forcing him into the car. They blindfolded him and drove him for 15 or 20 min, punching him in the ribs with their fists and the gun the entire time. Finally they stopped and shoved him out onto the sidewalk -- at this point all Tom could imagine was a dark alley and the fact that they had a weapon in their hand. Luckily though they drove off (not before stealing the few thousand colones Tom had in his backpocket), leaving Tom in a part of town that he had never seen with no money for a taxi ride home. In his broken Spanish, he asked people on the streets where Parque Chino was (a park near his house) and followed the general direction of their pointing fingers. After an hour and a half of that, he was at my front door, white as a sheet. I asked what had happened. "I just got kidnapped," he said.
Second:
I am so fortunate to have parents who have come before me and done this -- they understand my struggles, my concerns, and those feelings that can't be written in words. This week my mom sent me a copy of her blog from November when she was here six years ago. It pretty much sums up where I'm at (and also plunged me into a pensieve of forgotten memories).
--Hannah/Val
PS One last quote my beloved mother sent me:
I have two big stories to tell. One is the terrifying tale of why I'm not allowed to go running any more. The second is about how incredibly my parents are.
First:
On Saturday (Halloween), Tom decided to go for a little run at around 4 in the afternoon (bright daylight). On his way back home, a car pulled up and four men jumped out in halloween masks. One had a gun hidden by a sweatshirt and he dug it into Tom's side, forcing him into the car. They blindfolded him and drove him for 15 or 20 min, punching him in the ribs with their fists and the gun the entire time. Finally they stopped and shoved him out onto the sidewalk -- at this point all Tom could imagine was a dark alley and the fact that they had a weapon in their hand. Luckily though they drove off (not before stealing the few thousand colones Tom had in his backpocket), leaving Tom in a part of town that he had never seen with no money for a taxi ride home. In his broken Spanish, he asked people on the streets where Parque Chino was (a park near his house) and followed the general direction of their pointing fingers. After an hour and a half of that, he was at my front door, white as a sheet. I asked what had happened. "I just got kidnapped," he said.
Second:
I am so fortunate to have parents who have come before me and done this -- they understand my struggles, my concerns, and those feelings that can't be written in words. This week my mom sent me a copy of her blog from November when she was here six years ago. It pretty much sums up where I'm at (and also plunged me into a pensieve of forgotten memories).
November 24th - Val
Love deeply. Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply…as you love deeply, the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.
Henry Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love
“…fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”
from Romans 12, The Message
It is late November, but to me it does not feel like November. I haven’t seen leaves falling off the trees or gathered windfall apples for applesauce. I haven’t seen the first snows on the Cascade foothills nor watched the water pound the beach in a November gale. Jeff can’t believe it’s November either. As he put it, “It just feels like one long summer.” But, the calendar says it’s November, so I have to believe it is.
Just as I can’t believe it is late November, I’m finding it difficult to believe my heart will “rejoice in the abundance of fruit it will bear” as it is broken by loving deeply, as Henry Nouwen so eloquently put it. I’m struggling to respond to what God wants from me. I don’t see the best being brought out in me and “well-formed maturity” sounds more foreign than Spanish. I guess I’m having a difficult week…make that month.
This month has been a rollercoaster kind of month. The catalyst for the rollercoaster has been home visits. This month I have twice visited the homes off four lovely young women, Carolina (14), her sister Cristabel (12), Grethel (15) and Mileidy (12) whom I have come to know well. They are very faithful members of Monday volleyball (called, Chicas Bonitas) and are also very active in all of the classes offered in the Refuge where I help on Wednesdays and Saturdays. You can see their photos on the Nuevos Horizontes section of our website. Their homes are humble at best. They live off of the main street of La Carpio—to get to Carolina’s home you descend a steep, dirt and rock “street,” cross a narrow garbage swollen stream on a make shift bridge of planks, and descend further down a narrow path. Every square inch that is not dirt, rocks and garbage has casas built practically on top of each other. With so many sheet metal, cement block, or wooden homes it is very easy to believe there are at least 35,000 people living in La Carpio. Inside, lights and furniture are sparse. The smells of cooking are delicious—they can work wonders with rice, a little chicken and the right spices. The crafts the girls make in their classes are the home décor. Carolinas parents both work 5-6 days a week, 10-12 hour days so I was fortunate to meet them.
The day after my first visit to the girls’ homes, Jeff and I were reading the religion section of the Skagit Valley herald on-line. I found myself raging at the “gospel of entertainment” that is so prevalent in all sectors, including the church, of the U.S. Our entertainments have a numbing effect which prevent us from feeling true despair or true joy. At the school our kids attend there is discussion and concern over the Harry Potter books. This is not to discount the discernment of concerned parents, but Carolina’s parents work over 70 hours a week and live in squalor. That is the result of evil—and yet it is an evil the Christian community is not particularly enraged by. I may feel pity, but not concern enough to take action to change things because I might have to change. All I had seen the day before, the time I have spent with the girls, it all came to the surface and I had no entertainment to numb me, no meetings I had to go to, nothing to distract or erase what I had seen—all I could do was cry. There were tears of missing my friends and family, tears of frustration at feeling so incompetent with the language, and tears of rage at the incredible injustice of life in La Carpio. There was shame for having so very much and still finding ample reasons to complain. I suddenly wished I had never even thought of coming to Costa Rica. I wished I had never seen La Carpio, had never read the prophets in the Old Testament or the Sermon on the Mount. I wanted to erase it all.
So, that was a downhill on the rollercoaster….A few weeks later, Jeff and the boys spent the night at some friends so Hannah and I could host a slumber party with Carolina, Cristobel, Mileidy, and Grethel. I also invited two new volunteers, Ali, a recent college graduate from Colorado and Kristen, another recent college graduate from Atlanta (and yes, I had moments of feeling old!) to join in the fun. The walk that I make on an almost daily basis through downtown San Jose was new again as these girls who seldom leave La Carpio held hands and looked at the Christmas decorations in honest-to-goodness wonder. On the bus they laughed and were so excited, it was impossible to not think this was going to be one of the greatest nights ever.
We (the leaders) kicked them out of the kitchen telling them that this was a night for them to rest, we would do the work. After dinner they did something I had not fully expected—they played legos. They LOVE legos and each girl made herself a lovely little house. While they played legos, the grown-ups made cookies. I got out the video camera and taped them singing, dancing, introducing themselves and telling about their lego houses. Jeff had borrowed a television from some friends so we were able to immediately show them the video which they absolutely loved. As the night progressed we played games and wrote letters to another volunteer who had recently left. Late in the night we decided to make the girls hot cocoa. As we were making it, Kristen commented that this evening was like a facial and manicure for the girls. We wanted so much to wait on them and let them be kids for just one night.
Around midnight, we moved all the mattresses that would fit into one room and snuggled in together. There wasn’t room for one person, so I was given the gift of sleeping in my own bed (one of the advantages of being the oldest). Finally, around 12:30 the lights were out. At 5:20 (yes, less than 5 hours later) I heard rustling. Cristobel peaked in my room and gave me a huge hug. Soon Ali appeared and I invited her to talk as Cristobel left. We had been talking for about 20 minutes (I believe discussing the merits of coffee) when Kristen joined us and asked if I knew what the girls were up to. I had heard them and figured they were talking, playing more legos, etc. No, the girls were cleaning the house. By the time I got up, every room had been swept, the dishes put away, every mattress back in place, beds made. Every last lego picked up and put in the box.
We all went to church together where Ali and I sang. Since we had to practice, the girls all learned the song. The words are very simple and honest. Translated it says something to the effect of “Every morning I get up, and every night I rest, thankful for all of Your (God) goodness in my life; for all I am permitted to enjoy.” Jeff and I accompanied the girls home Sunday afternoon, and as the bus entered La Carpio in the twilight of evening, four lovely voices on the bus were singing, “Cada mañana despertar, y por la noche descansar, agradezco tus bondades a mi vida por todo lo que me permites disfrutar…” The people on the bus turned and smiled. How could you not sense the holiness of entering La Carpio with a psalm of thanksgiving rising over the rumble of a diesel engine?
It was an act of gratitude, an experience of true joy, I will never forget.
Jeff and I walked each girl to her home, greeted parents and gave hugs goodbye. Then we went to dinner as I tried to bring together the experience that in some ways left me feeling so disjointed. I do not want to romanticize poverty, nor do I want to aggrandize the good life. So, where did the roller coaster take me? It took me to our computer where I found myself looking at photos of our home in Anacortes. I suddenly longed to be home. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to spend one more minute lamenting over the poverty of La Carpio, the guilt of our wealth, my inadequacies,—I didn’t want to think or feel one bit! Two hours prior I was in a place of tremendous thanksgiving, singing on the bus….
In hind sight, that reaction has since reminded me of when Luke broke his arm. It was less then 5 minutes after his fall, I had him in the car and was going to drive him to the doctor. I asked him how he was and he kept saying over and over, “Mommy, I just want to go to sleep. Can’t I just go to sleep?” I’ve had enough first aid classes to recognize that as a preliminary sign of shock. Perhaps that’s what this month has been—emotional, spiritual shock. I just want to sit in my little room with this little computer and look at digital photos of my house, my family, my little corner of the world and not experience any more heart break. I suddenly don’t want to be “changed from the inside out” because, well, it hurts. I’d prefer to not love deeply—a little, shallow pat on the back sounds good.
So this is where I will leave off. Unresolved, unfinished, unsure of a lot of things—even the month! The calendar says it is November, and I have to believe it no matter how unnatural it feels. Isn’t that the life of faith?
--Hannah/Val
PS One last quote my beloved mother sent me:
“May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.”
Day 78.
...saw the schedule for the next couple weeks. The girls' exam results don't come back until November 18, so classes won't start until November 23 (I'll be in Panama with the fam! Wahoo!), so I still have half days for a while. I know I'll be teaching sixth and seventh grade math, a computer class or two for beginners, an English class for two of the latina teachers, and my newspaper class. It's going to be fun.
...missed being in a place where rain doesn't affect phone lines or internet connections.
...realized I am going to miss reading Ecclesiastes every night with my host mom (we've started doing that to strengthen my Spanish reading skills, and it brings me back to when my real mommy and I plowed our way through the whole Bible over two and a half years).
...learned where to buy bus tickets to Monte Verde! Tom, Lauren, and I are taking a little trip up to the jungle this weekend. It's going to be very refreshing to not inhale exhaust with every breath.
...smiled when I checked the date on my watch -- only 15 days until I get to see my parents and my bros! Hot diggity. :D
--Hannah
PS
...missed being in a place where rain doesn't affect phone lines or internet connections.
...realized I am going to miss reading Ecclesiastes every night with my host mom (we've started doing that to strengthen my Spanish reading skills, and it brings me back to when my real mommy and I plowed our way through the whole Bible over two and a half years).
...learned where to buy bus tickets to Monte Verde! Tom, Lauren, and I are taking a little trip up to the jungle this weekend. It's going to be very refreshing to not inhale exhaust with every breath.
...smiled when I checked the date on my watch -- only 15 days until I get to see my parents and my bros! Hot diggity. :D
--Hannah
PS
"Just because something is, doesn't mean it should be."
-- Australia
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Day 75.
So I'm failing at keeping up with my blog. Sorry about that.
I have, however, been writing semi-faithfully in my journal. I figure I'll just type up some of my random thoughts, shove them together, and put them on a platter for you all to read off your screens.
Things to do downtown:
-National Theater tickets
-V for Vendetta
-Jockey Chocolates
-Print out Interbus crap.
-Be happy and secure.
It's all the little things that make up a person -- the stray hairs, the shoe laces, the melodies we sing to ourselves, the words we like to say. And then we take each one of those little things and we share it, offering pieces of our self to be examined and enjoyed. But how much of that is us? Not something we found or something we heard, but something we are? When do we begin to dig deep enough that our real selves are exposed? And when do we know that some one else has exposed their real self?
It's hot today. And I'm older.
You are a light.
You are a punching bag.
You are innocence and a reminder of how far your 16-year-old mother has fallen from it.
You are a smile and a heartbreak, a time-bomb ticking away the happy seconds.
You are a walking, talking, wailing, flailing photograph of your father, who may never know your face.
Or know too much of it.
You are an accident and an embarrassment.
You are a reason to stay alive.
You are beautiful and terrible.
You burn old dreams and plant new ones in the ashes.
You are a LIFE.
You are a miracle.
Scavenger Hunt List:
-signature from a gringa/o
-25 pieces of trash
-heart-shaped rock
-grass crown
-hat
-something shiny
-an animal
-three flowers
-something made from wood
-a hair tie
-something yellow
-a pen
-chapstick/lip gloss
-a book
-a drawing of a lion
-a watch
-the left shoe from some one NOT in your group
-a bead
-Marielos's favorite color
-a key
What does it mean to love these girls?
I see these smiles and I think, "Now what? They will be here for 3 hours -- they will know fun and freedom for that short, short time, and then they'll return to their homes where they must cook, must clean, must provide."
Is that what this is? A brief escape from "real life"? I've heard something else called that before. Drugs.
I want real biscuits and gravy. I want to explore Chicago. I want to start my future and look older in all my facebook pictures.
REALITY CHECK:
While Tom and I were guffawing over youtube videos and Rolemodels, a girl took rat-poisoning in a futile attempt to end her life. Her sister just watched.
But I'm sick of the shock factor. I'm done with listening and immediately thinking, "Now THIS will be a good story to post tonight!" I want to tell about life -- not successes or tragedies, but about life.
I want to do more, but I don't want to burn out. I need time alone. College is going to be so hard for me.
Overall, I think I'm getting better at listening. But maybe I'm just becoming more boring.
Dear God.
Let me learn how hard life can be. Please don't let me be cynical.
How I see Ecclesiastes:
What do you get for working all day?
Generations come.
Generations go,
but the earth is the only steady thing beneath us.
The sun rises,
The sun sets
then it hurries back to its beginnings.
The wind blows south,
The wind blows north,
it goes around and around in a circle called "world".
Every river runs to the sea,
but the sea is never full.
Rivers too return to the rain from which they came.
Everything is exhausting,
more than our mouth can make sense of.
Our eyes have never seen enough,
our ears have never heard enough.
What happened will happen again,
what was done will be done again,
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there ANYTHING you can look at and say "Wow! Now THAT is original!"
It's already been done, already been thought.
We don't remember who died yesterday.
We won't remember who dies tomorrow.
-Hannah
I have, however, been writing semi-faithfully in my journal. I figure I'll just type up some of my random thoughts, shove them together, and put them on a platter for you all to read off your screens.
Luke 6:35
"Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High because he is kind to the
ungrateful and wicked."
Things to do downtown:
-National Theater tickets
-V for Vendetta
-Jockey Chocolates
-Print out Interbus crap.
-Be happy and secure.
It's all the little things that make up a person -- the stray hairs, the shoe laces, the melodies we sing to ourselves, the words we like to say. And then we take each one of those little things and we share it, offering pieces of our self to be examined and enjoyed. But how much of that is us? Not something we found or something we heard, but something we are? When do we begin to dig deep enough that our real selves are exposed? And when do we know that some one else has exposed their real self?
Luke 6:38
"A good measure pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap."
It's hot today. And I'm older.
You are a light.
You are a punching bag.
You are innocence and a reminder of how far your 16-year-old mother has fallen from it.
You are a smile and a heartbreak, a time-bomb ticking away the happy seconds.
You are a walking, talking, wailing, flailing photograph of your father, who may never know your face.
Or know too much of it.
You are an accident and an embarrassment.
You are a reason to stay alive.
You are beautiful and terrible.
You burn old dreams and plant new ones in the ashes.
You are a LIFE.
You are a miracle.
Scavenger Hunt List:
-signature from a gringa/o
-25 pieces of trash
-heart-shaped rock
-grass crown
-hat
-something shiny
-an animal
-three flowers
-something made from wood
-a hair tie
-something yellow
-a pen
-chapstick/lip gloss
-a book
-a drawing of a lion
-a watch
-the left shoe from some one NOT in your group
-a bead
-Marielos's favorite color
-a key
What does it mean to love these girls?
I see these smiles and I think, "Now what? They will be here for 3 hours -- they will know fun and freedom for that short, short time, and then they'll return to their homes where they must cook, must clean, must provide."
Is that what this is? A brief escape from "real life"? I've heard something else called that before. Drugs.
I want real biscuits and gravy. I want to explore Chicago. I want to start my future and look older in all my facebook pictures.
REALITY CHECK:
While Tom and I were guffawing over youtube videos and Rolemodels, a girl took rat-poisoning in a futile attempt to end her life. Her sister just watched.
But I'm sick of the shock factor. I'm done with listening and immediately thinking, "Now THIS will be a good story to post tonight!" I want to tell about life -- not successes or tragedies, but about life.
I want to do more, but I don't want to burn out. I need time alone. College is going to be so hard for me.
Overall, I think I'm getting better at listening. But maybe I'm just becoming more boring.
Dear God.
Let me learn how hard life can be. Please don't let me be cynical.
How I see Ecclesiastes:
What do you get for working all day?
Generations come.
Generations go,
but the earth is the only steady thing beneath us.
The sun rises,
The sun sets
then it hurries back to its beginnings.
The wind blows south,
The wind blows north,
it goes around and around in a circle called "world".
Every river runs to the sea,
but the sea is never full.
Rivers too return to the rain from which they came.
Everything is exhausting,
more than our mouth can make sense of.
Our eyes have never seen enough,
our ears have never heard enough.
What happened will happen again,
what was done will be done again,
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there ANYTHING you can look at and say "Wow! Now THAT is original!"
It's already been done, already been thought.
We don't remember who died yesterday.
We won't remember who dies tomorrow.
Luke 7:13
"And when the Lord saw her,
his heart went out to her and he said,
'Don't cry.'"
-Hannah
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Day 70.
Hey team! Sorry I haven't been updating...I truly haven't been doing much, just living life.
This week and last week have been "vacations" for my students out at the refuge. Usually that two weeks of no school, but the girls assured us they didn't want to stay home. Instead, they come every day from 8:30 to 12:00 for a devotion and crafts (which I've been leading -- let's just say I've cranked out a lot of bracelets). Anyways, basically I just go out there in the morning, come back in the afternoon, and watch a movie either on my computer or at Tom's house, or watch episodes of Glee online. It's been a good two weeks.
Having said that, I will give you my five facts of life as of late:
Today, I...
...saw Editus at the National Theater (another 500 colones deal, or less than $1). This string quintet has two grammys under their belt and while they weren't as exciting as MasterKey last week, Lauren and I faked British accents during the performance as we fanned ourselves from our seats atop the gallery.
...missed chocolate milk. So I found myself some and drank it. YUM.
...realized I am going to miss flipping on the nightly news and seeing places that I walked past during the day. That happens every day.
...learned how to open a locked door with a knife. Watch yourself.
...smiled when Don Horacio (Tom's host dad and the pastor who baptized Luke last time we were down here) welcomed me into his house, calling it my "third home".
--Hannah
This week and last week have been "vacations" for my students out at the refuge. Usually that two weeks of no school, but the girls assured us they didn't want to stay home. Instead, they come every day from 8:30 to 12:00 for a devotion and crafts (which I've been leading -- let's just say I've cranked out a lot of bracelets). Anyways, basically I just go out there in the morning, come back in the afternoon, and watch a movie either on my computer or at Tom's house, or watch episodes of Glee online. It's been a good two weeks.
Having said that, I will give you my five facts of life as of late:
Today, I...
...saw Editus at the National Theater (another 500 colones deal, or less than $1). This string quintet has two grammys under their belt and while they weren't as exciting as MasterKey last week, Lauren and I faked British accents during the performance as we fanned ourselves from our seats atop the gallery.
...missed chocolate milk. So I found myself some and drank it. YUM.
...realized I am going to miss flipping on the nightly news and seeing places that I walked past during the day. That happens every day.
...learned how to open a locked door with a knife. Watch yourself.
...smiled when Don Horacio (Tom's host dad and the pastor who baptized Luke last time we were down here) welcomed me into his house, calling it my "third home".
--Hannah
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Day 65.
Today, I...
...saw the new Star Trek movie for the first time! That was solid.
...missed praying before a high school sporting event.
...realized I am going to miss yucca -- an AMAZING root that tastes absolutely delicious and is usually boiled with only a pinch of salt (unlike everything else here, which is fried).
...learned why I don't always understand my students. They speak in their own made-up language, much like ubbidubbi from zoom. Here though, rather than putting "ub" before every vowel sound, they stick "ca" before every syllable. I have NO hope of understanding them.
...smiled as I had no homework to do. :)
--Hannah
...saw the new Star Trek movie for the first time! That was solid.
...missed praying before a high school sporting event.
...realized I am going to miss yucca -- an AMAZING root that tastes absolutely delicious and is usually boiled with only a pinch of salt (unlike everything else here, which is fried).
...learned why I don't always understand my students. They speak in their own made-up language, much like ubbidubbi from zoom. Here though, rather than putting "ub" before every vowel sound, they stick "ca" before every syllable. I have NO hope of understanding them.
...smiled as I had no homework to do. :)
--Hannah
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Day 64.
Today I...
...saw V for Vendetta at Carmen's house. We watched it with Jeffry, Axel, Jairo, Johann, Valesky, Alanna, Tom, and a handful of neighborhood kids. A huge struggle I've been having lately is how I indulge in things from the States, without losing my connections here. Today I felt like I had found the perfect balance -- watching one of my favorite films that brought back memories of some of my favorite people, while still smiling in Spanish and resting plates of rice on my knees (like most families in Carpio, Carmen's doesn't have a kitchen table).
...missed Dairy Queen.
...realized I am going to miss these evenings where I can come home and not feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere.
...learned some new chords on the uke.
...smiled after watching "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind" for the first time. I have a new favorite quote because of that film:
--Hannah
...saw V for Vendetta at Carmen's house. We watched it with Jeffry, Axel, Jairo, Johann, Valesky, Alanna, Tom, and a handful of neighborhood kids. A huge struggle I've been having lately is how I indulge in things from the States, without losing my connections here. Today I felt like I had found the perfect balance -- watching one of my favorite films that brought back memories of some of my favorite people, while still smiling in Spanish and resting plates of rice on my knees (like most families in Carpio, Carmen's doesn't have a kitchen table).
...missed Dairy Queen.
...realized I am going to miss these evenings where I can come home and not feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere.
...learned some new chords on the uke.
...smiled after watching "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind" for the first time. I have a new favorite quote because of that film:
"Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."
--Hannah
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Day 63.
So. Today, I...
...saw an absolutely INCREDIBLE group at the National Theater. Every Tuesday at noon there's a show for only 500 colones (less than a dollar). They very rarely release what band is playing or what show is being performed ahead of time, so it's kind of a hit and miss when it comes to seeing something worth while. Today though, the first day I went, I got to see an absolutely fantastic a cappella quintet. They were Costa Rican, all from the carribean and sang a variety of gospel, jazz, and reggae. It was without a doubt the best 500 colones I will EVER spend in my life.
...missed having little hands. It's weird realizing you're growing up.
...realized I am going to miss sitting in the second story of Quizno's, people watching and talking about faith. Good thing I'm going to Chicago.
...learned that it's good to be a girl. Poor Tom (Halo Boy) was downtown by himself today on his way to Carpio when he got kneed where the sun don't shine, robbed of all his money, and left in the fetal position for three minutes while people just walked by. He had no way to get home, so he signed a picture of himself, told people he was famous, and someone bought the autographed photo for 800 colones. I've been here for two months and haven't had any run-ins with anything like that. Tom's been here a week.
...smiled with embarassment and disbelief as I desperately tried to squeeze a "u" into the word "never". While my Spanish is excelling, my English is falling out my ears.
--Hannah
...saw an absolutely INCREDIBLE group at the National Theater. Every Tuesday at noon there's a show for only 500 colones (less than a dollar). They very rarely release what band is playing or what show is being performed ahead of time, so it's kind of a hit and miss when it comes to seeing something worth while. Today though, the first day I went, I got to see an absolutely fantastic a cappella quintet. They were Costa Rican, all from the carribean and sang a variety of gospel, jazz, and reggae. It was without a doubt the best 500 colones I will EVER spend in my life.
...missed having little hands. It's weird realizing you're growing up.
...realized I am going to miss sitting in the second story of Quizno's, people watching and talking about faith. Good thing I'm going to Chicago.
...learned that it's good to be a girl. Poor Tom (Halo Boy) was downtown by himself today on his way to Carpio when he got kneed where the sun don't shine, robbed of all his money, and left in the fetal position for three minutes while people just walked by. He had no way to get home, so he signed a picture of himself, told people he was famous, and someone bought the autographed photo for 800 colones. I've been here for two months and haven't had any run-ins with anything like that. Tom's been here a week.
...smiled with embarassment and disbelief as I desperately tried to squeeze a "u" into the word "never". While my Spanish is excelling, my English is falling out my ears.
--Hannah
Monday, October 19, 2009
Day 62.
So much life has happened this weekend! So sorry I haven't kept you all posted. I'm going to scrap the current format -- I can't squeeze all that I did in five simple statements. Back to the list.
- Friday I spent the night in Carpio for the first time since I was 12. Alanna and I watched the Hannah Montana movie and all three High School Musical films with four twelve-year-old girls, a few of which will be in my cabin group. I slept. Alanna didn't.
- Saturday I led the Bible study for the girls. We took Psalm 139 and made a sort of mad-lib out of it, filling in our own fears, worries, dreams...it made the whole thing a lot more personal. Some of the girls had responses that were ingeniously creative and others had some that made my insides churn with heart-break.
- After that, Alanna, Tom, and I all went to Alanna's youth group. We watched a dubbed Focus on the Family film that I doubt I would've been able to comprehend if it was in English.
- Sunday I went to church and then talked to my parents on skype! That was great. Much needed.
- Sunday afternoon Tom and I ran into Alanna at a local internet cafe. We decided to hang out, and I volunteered my room as a place to lounge. Wrong. Idea. As soon as we walked up to my house, my tica mom was visibly flustered. I apologized to her, saying that we'd be out of everyone's way and just chillax in my bedroom. Another. Wrong. Idea. She told me that was simply not going to happen, so the three of us got out of there pretty fast...it was like you could cut the tension with a chainsaw. After spending a while in Tom's living room, it got dark and the three of us decided to depart ways. I got home and my tico folks had headed out, leaving me with my host sisters. I apologized profusely to both of them, expressing that I could tell how upset my tica mom was. They explained that in this house, you MUST ask in advance before anyone shows up, and they never ever hang out in their rooms (not even with their girl friends, but ESPECIALLY not their guy friends). Woops.
- Seven o'clock came and my tico folks still weren't back yet and I was exhausted. I lay down for a bit and ended up conking out. At 8 o'clock my tica mom knocked on my door and I leapt up, apologizing and blushing and profusely protesting that I learned my lesson and nothing like that would ever happen again. She just stood there in the doorway, each hand holding a candy. "Hannah," she said, "Raquel told me that you think I'm mad at you. I'm not. Here are two chocolates for you." We hugged and I felt like I was with my real mom for a minute -- you know how miscommunication can plant frustration which eventually grows into reconciliation. Sometimes you have to make a tear in a relationship so that you can sew it back up, making the fibre even tighter, even stronger.
- I spent the afternoon scouring for "Jockey" chocolates, a certain kind of sweet that was very famous in the 80's, and has been brought out of a twenty year retirement for the candy company's 100th aniversary. My host family has been raving about the treats for the last few months...so I bought some and presented them to my tica mom who smiled and hugged me tight. And all was right with the world.
--Hannah
- Friday I spent the night in Carpio for the first time since I was 12. Alanna and I watched the Hannah Montana movie and all three High School Musical films with four twelve-year-old girls, a few of which will be in my cabin group. I slept. Alanna didn't.
- Saturday I led the Bible study for the girls. We took Psalm 139 and made a sort of mad-lib out of it, filling in our own fears, worries, dreams...it made the whole thing a lot more personal. Some of the girls had responses that were ingeniously creative and others had some that made my insides churn with heart-break.
- After that, Alanna, Tom, and I all went to Alanna's youth group. We watched a dubbed Focus on the Family film that I doubt I would've been able to comprehend if it was in English.
- Sunday I went to church and then talked to my parents on skype! That was great. Much needed.
- Sunday afternoon Tom and I ran into Alanna at a local internet cafe. We decided to hang out, and I volunteered my room as a place to lounge. Wrong. Idea. As soon as we walked up to my house, my tica mom was visibly flustered. I apologized to her, saying that we'd be out of everyone's way and just chillax in my bedroom. Another. Wrong. Idea. She told me that was simply not going to happen, so the three of us got out of there pretty fast...it was like you could cut the tension with a chainsaw. After spending a while in Tom's living room, it got dark and the three of us decided to depart ways. I got home and my tico folks had headed out, leaving me with my host sisters. I apologized profusely to both of them, expressing that I could tell how upset my tica mom was. They explained that in this house, you MUST ask in advance before anyone shows up, and they never ever hang out in their rooms (not even with their girl friends, but ESPECIALLY not their guy friends). Woops.
- Seven o'clock came and my tico folks still weren't back yet and I was exhausted. I lay down for a bit and ended up conking out. At 8 o'clock my tica mom knocked on my door and I leapt up, apologizing and blushing and profusely protesting that I learned my lesson and nothing like that would ever happen again. She just stood there in the doorway, each hand holding a candy. "Hannah," she said, "Raquel told me that you think I'm mad at you. I'm not. Here are two chocolates for you." We hugged and I felt like I was with my real mom for a minute -- you know how miscommunication can plant frustration which eventually grows into reconciliation. Sometimes you have to make a tear in a relationship so that you can sew it back up, making the fibre even tighter, even stronger.
- I spent the afternoon scouring for "Jockey" chocolates, a certain kind of sweet that was very famous in the 80's, and has been brought out of a twenty year retirement for the candy company's 100th aniversary. My host family has been raving about the treats for the last few months...so I bought some and presented them to my tica mom who smiled and hugged me tight. And all was right with the world.
--Hannah
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Day 58.
Today, I...
...saw part of Slumdog Millionaire with the Lopez fam. Man I forgot how amazing that film is.
...missed being able to hang out until after nine o'clock.
...realized I am going to miss the amazing conversations I have with my tica mom.
...learned that it's important to learn how to say "no."
...smiled as I played traditional Costa Rican games at the cultural day party during my Thursday meetings.
--Hannah
...saw part of Slumdog Millionaire with the Lopez fam. Man I forgot how amazing that film is.
...missed being able to hang out until after nine o'clock.
...realized I am going to miss the amazing conversations I have with my tica mom.
...learned that it's important to learn how to say "no."
...smiled as I played traditional Costa Rican games at the cultural day party during my Thursday meetings.
--Hannah
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Day 57.
Today, I...
...saw one of my students wearing a "St. Jude's Childen's Hospital Math-a-thon" shirt and immediately remembered my brother Luke dominating that there fundraiser and winning a boom box. So. Cool.
...missed the idea of midnight showings (EVERYONE GO SEE WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!).
...realized I am going to miss the uproar of a whole city as a soccer goal is scored.
...learned that I'm actually 6'3". How did that happen? Ergh.
...smiled when my tica aunt's cell phone went off and I heard "I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world..." play as her ring tone.
--Hannah
...saw one of my students wearing a "St. Jude's Childen's Hospital Math-a-thon" shirt and immediately remembered my brother Luke dominating that there fundraiser and winning a boom box. So. Cool.
...missed the idea of midnight showings (EVERYONE GO SEE WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!).
...realized I am going to miss the uproar of a whole city as a soccer goal is scored.
...learned that I'm actually 6'3". How did that happen? Ergh.
...smiled when my tica aunt's cell phone went off and I heard "I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world..." play as her ring tone.
--Hannah
Monday, October 12, 2009
Day 55.
Today, I...
...saw too much of my room. I had the day off and did practically nothing.
...missed Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
...realized I am going to miss speaking Spanish as much as I do.
...learned that Tom, a new volunteer who lives a block from me with the Lopez's, was sponsored by Monster Energy Drink to play Halo. That's right, we he's one of the best Halo players on the planet and was paid quite the pretty penny for such a feat. The best part? He's here. Helping in New Horizons.
...smiled as I thought about another week here.
--Hannah
...saw too much of my room. I had the day off and did practically nothing.
...missed Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
...realized I am going to miss speaking Spanish as much as I do.
...learned that Tom, a new volunteer who lives a block from me with the Lopez's, was sponsored by Monster Energy Drink to play Halo. That's right, we he's one of the best Halo players on the planet and was paid quite the pretty penny for such a feat. The best part? He's here. Helping in New Horizons.
...smiled as I thought about another week here.
--Hannah
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Day 53.
Today I...
...saw a fire hydrant. It was the first one I've seen; I've been here almost two months now.
...missed the sound of seagulls.
...realized I am going to miss not having a cell phone. It may not be for a while after I get back, but I know that I will get a phone again when I return to the states (I got my first one this last June, just for work during the summer). To be honest, I do miss getting texts and calls -- sorry mother, I know that disappoints you -- but there's a different reason that I don't want a cell phone: I know when I have a cell phone, there will be no reason for me to constantly wear my mother's watch. Never in my life have I had a security blanket, I've never needed a nightlight, but here, that blue fistful of plastic is on my wrist all day and all night.
...learned a lot from the book of John. I've been reading it on the Sundays that I don't understand the sermons (there's one pastor who my sister tells me she doesn't even understand), and I've been getting a lot out of it. As some of you may know, I've been working on re-writing the gospel as if it happened in a modern high school, something that has made the Bible completely different for me. Rather than imagining Jesus about to celebrate the passover, I saw a senior named "J" getting ready for prom, looking at the friends he had grown so close to. Let me show you the scene I see:
When I look back on seeds of friendships, it's always interesting to remember the people that I really wanted to get to know. It's overwhelming to think that Jesus thinks that about me.
...smiled at the thought of a nap.
--Hannah
...saw a fire hydrant. It was the first one I've seen; I've been here almost two months now.
...missed the sound of seagulls.
...realized I am going to miss not having a cell phone. It may not be for a while after I get back, but I know that I will get a phone again when I return to the states (I got my first one this last June, just for work during the summer). To be honest, I do miss getting texts and calls -- sorry mother, I know that disappoints you -- but there's a different reason that I don't want a cell phone: I know when I have a cell phone, there will be no reason for me to constantly wear my mother's watch. Never in my life have I had a security blanket, I've never needed a nightlight, but here, that blue fistful of plastic is on my wrist all day and all night.
...learned a lot from the book of John. I've been reading it on the Sundays that I don't understand the sermons (there's one pastor who my sister tells me she doesn't even understand), and I've been getting a lot out of it. As some of you may know, I've been working on re-writing the gospel as if it happened in a modern high school, something that has made the Bible completely different for me. Rather than imagining Jesus about to celebrate the passover, I saw a senior named "J" getting ready for prom, looking at the friends he had grown so close to. Let me show you the scene I see:
There they were, the whole herd of them: J, his pack of twelve close buddies, Lars and his sisters -- Martha and Maria. Some of them had on tuxedos, some of them didn't. The girls were stunning to say the least. Behind them the ocean stretched out its arms to welcome the sighing sun. The slipping warmth reflected on every pore of every face and J saw what he had done, what this love had created; these people weren't servants, they weren't students...they were friends. They had helped him and hurt him, they had fed his love with a love of their own. In a few months they were all going to go separate ways, to separate schools, to separate lives. In a few days he would be gone from this place forever. There would be no welcome home hugs at Christmas, no more bonfires with Ben and Jerry's, no more midnight lake swims for him next summer. This was one of the last moments he had to share.It says later that Jesus asked God to "take this cup from me", so obviously he had no intentions of leaping up onto that cross. So often we imagine Jesus as a shepherd and a savior, but when do we think of him as some one who needs us? It must have been hard for him to celebrate on that Palm Sunday, knowing that his time with the people he had become so close to was about to end abruptly. I think this relationship is summed up well in in this verse:
Just as he thought this, Maria produced an elegant boutonniere for every young man in the group, and an especially exquisite one for J. As they fastened them, J heard Jude grumble, "Stupid expensive roses. Did she not see the homeless man who sleeps in front of the florist shop?"
J grabbed Jude's startled eyes with his own and breathed, "Just leave her alone. She's going to buy these same flowers at my funeral." Jude was perplexed and his eyes dropped like guilt. "Look at me!" J demanded, but his voice broke. Jude thought he could see traces of sobs in J's eyes, but he must have imagined it, for he continued calmly, "The poor will always need you -- right now, I need you."
John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you.
When I look back on seeds of friendships, it's always interesting to remember the people that I really wanted to get to know. It's overwhelming to think that Jesus thinks that about me.
...smiled at the thought of a nap.
--Hannah
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Day 52.
Today, I...
...saw a motorcyle store simply called "STD."
...missed indoor plumbing that is what you would call "reliable". In my own home, I can flush the toilet paper down the toilet (which is HIGHLY uncommon in this country -- usually you have to place it in a little garbage can located next to every porcelain throne). None the less, my house has no warm running water (showers are heated by an electric appliance fixated on top of the spout, appropriately called a "widow maker"), and recently the water has been shut off/dirty without warning. Just dandy.
...realized I am going to miss the way people touch here. I think I mentioned that a while ago, in reference to Heather Shainin's sermon from a ways back, but it's true -- people here are just so much closer. The way my tica family interacts is unlike any family I've seen in the States, and the way that young people are constantly in physical contact makes me feel so much more connected. It's like people from the US have an extra barrier in between them that doesn't exist here.
...learned how weird English is. Example: "High School" is phonetically written as "Jaiskul" in Spanish.
...smiled as I was driven home from a late camp meeting, looking out my window and realizing what it means to be alive.
--Hannah
...saw a motorcyle store simply called "STD."
...missed indoor plumbing that is what you would call "reliable". In my own home, I can flush the toilet paper down the toilet (which is HIGHLY uncommon in this country -- usually you have to place it in a little garbage can located next to every porcelain throne). None the less, my house has no warm running water (showers are heated by an electric appliance fixated on top of the spout, appropriately called a "widow maker"), and recently the water has been shut off/dirty without warning. Just dandy.
...realized I am going to miss the way people touch here. I think I mentioned that a while ago, in reference to Heather Shainin's sermon from a ways back, but it's true -- people here are just so much closer. The way my tica family interacts is unlike any family I've seen in the States, and the way that young people are constantly in physical contact makes me feel so much more connected. It's like people from the US have an extra barrier in between them that doesn't exist here.
...learned how weird English is. Example: "High School" is phonetically written as "Jaiskul" in Spanish.
...smiled as I was driven home from a late camp meeting, looking out my window and realizing what it means to be alive.
--Hannah
Friday, October 9, 2009
Day 52.
Today, I...
...saw a woman rocking camo jeans and a cheetah print top. As Alanna would say, it was "quite the concept" (that's what Alanna calls fashion here -- "concepts").
...missed high school, but not terribly. I dreamt about AHS again last night, but my dream didn't distract me from the reality that I'm in a beautiful place that has its own memories to capture. Also, I realized something. Last week while watching the broadcasted football game, I felt as if I was missing out, that broadcast club is over for me and something that I love is done. But today I decided that actually, I'm just closer to the real deal -- before I know it, I'll be broadcasting again, only this time as a proffession (if all goes according to plan). Thus, rather than dwelling on how far behind I left something, I'm focusing on how close I'm reaching to the next big adventure.
...realized I am going to miss pineapple jelly.
...learned that I'd much rather create beauty than be beautiful.
...smiled as I watched Lukey dominate the half time show with his tuba.
--Hannah
...saw a woman rocking camo jeans and a cheetah print top. As Alanna would say, it was "quite the concept" (that's what Alanna calls fashion here -- "concepts").
...missed high school, but not terribly. I dreamt about AHS again last night, but my dream didn't distract me from the reality that I'm in a beautiful place that has its own memories to capture. Also, I realized something. Last week while watching the broadcasted football game, I felt as if I was missing out, that broadcast club is over for me and something that I love is done. But today I decided that actually, I'm just closer to the real deal -- before I know it, I'll be broadcasting again, only this time as a proffession (if all goes according to plan). Thus, rather than dwelling on how far behind I left something, I'm focusing on how close I'm reaching to the next big adventure.
...realized I am going to miss pineapple jelly.
...learned that I'd much rather create beauty than be beautiful.
...smiled as I watched Lukey dominate the half time show with his tuba.
--Hannah
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Day 51.
Today, I...
...saw a Rammstein patch on someone's backpack. Tom Kovach, if you're reading this, I hope you just smiled a little.
...missed peanut butter/chocolate chips/ovens. All three things exist here, but are incredibly expensive to buy and/or use. Have you EVER realized how many desserts use one of those three things? Or all three at once?
...realized I am going to miss having a mom. While all my other friends are out on their own at college, I still have some one who cooks for me, does my laundry, and reminds me that I just need to be myself.
...learned how pointless it is to try and find clothes here that fit.
...smiled as I passed out the first issue of "Primicias Juveniles", our little newspaper! It's not my greatest production, but the girls are proud of it and I can honestly say I didn't do a whole lot (except throw it all together at 12:30 last night...reminded me of the good ol' days of the Sixth Grade Post). Once we get a really solid issue, I'll put it online for you all.
--Hannah
PS I've had some people ask me about care packages...thank you thank you thank you for thinking of me! Here are some things I could use:
- Any kind of peanut butter product. Miss that. Mucho.
- Nesquick anyone?
- PAPERBACK BOOKS. I'm working on a list of certain titles I'm interested in, but feel free to just send me whatever is lying around your house.
- CD mixes. Those things mean a lot to me.
- Nothing that you wouldn't mind me losing...my folks sent me a package a good five weeks ago and it still hasn't shown up. Hopefully it will. Eventually.
...saw a Rammstein patch on someone's backpack. Tom Kovach, if you're reading this, I hope you just smiled a little.
...missed peanut butter/chocolate chips/ovens. All three things exist here, but are incredibly expensive to buy and/or use. Have you EVER realized how many desserts use one of those three things? Or all three at once?
...realized I am going to miss having a mom. While all my other friends are out on their own at college, I still have some one who cooks for me, does my laundry, and reminds me that I just need to be myself.
...learned how pointless it is to try and find clothes here that fit.
...smiled as I passed out the first issue of "Primicias Juveniles", our little newspaper! It's not my greatest production, but the girls are proud of it and I can honestly say I didn't do a whole lot (except throw it all together at 12:30 last night...reminded me of the good ol' days of the Sixth Grade Post). Once we get a really solid issue, I'll put it online for you all.
--Hannah
PS I've had some people ask me about care packages...thank you thank you thank you for thinking of me! Here are some things I could use:
- Any kind of peanut butter product. Miss that. Mucho.
- Nesquick anyone?
- PAPERBACK BOOKS. I'm working on a list of certain titles I'm interested in, but feel free to just send me whatever is lying around your house.
- CD mixes. Those things mean a lot to me.
- Nothing that you wouldn't mind me losing...my folks sent me a package a good five weeks ago and it still hasn't shown up. Hopefully it will. Eventually.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Day 50.
Today, I...
...saw a taxi driver hop out of his cab, squat next to a storm drain, and brush his teeth with water from an old Coke bottle.
...missed singing Paul Baribeau songs with Henry as we would bike home from the six o'clock service.
...realized I am going to miss the bus drivers. Yesterday I was spacing out on my ride and realized that we had stopped for a little longer than usual. I was confused. Looking around, I realized it was MY stop we were waiting at. The bus driver was looking in his mirror at me, surely thinking, "Let's wait until the stupid gringa figures out what a bozo she is." Still, he didn't let me miss my stop.
...learned that if there are three dogs hanging around a PUBLIC entrance, even if it is BLATANTLY open, trying to enter is not not not not not a good idea.
...smiled when I asked my tica mom if I could snack on some raw green beans -- her face looked like I had just grown a third arm.
--Hannah
...saw a taxi driver hop out of his cab, squat next to a storm drain, and brush his teeth with water from an old Coke bottle.
...missed singing Paul Baribeau songs with Henry as we would bike home from the six o'clock service.
...realized I am going to miss the bus drivers. Yesterday I was spacing out on my ride and realized that we had stopped for a little longer than usual. I was confused. Looking around, I realized it was MY stop we were waiting at. The bus driver was looking in his mirror at me, surely thinking, "Let's wait until the stupid gringa figures out what a bozo she is." Still, he didn't let me miss my stop.
...learned that if there are three dogs hanging around a PUBLIC entrance, even if it is BLATANTLY open, trying to enter is not not not not not a good idea.
...smiled when I asked my tica mom if I could snack on some raw green beans -- her face looked like I had just grown a third arm.
--Hannah
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Day 49.
Today, I...
...saw Tatiana on the bus, another young woman who was a care free goofball last time I saw her. Today though, she was holding her waling two-year-old son.
...missed Nik.
...realized I am going to miss the incredibly delicious bakeries here. They are on every block practically and there is not a single thing that doesn't taste like a slice of heaven.
...learned that "carpa" means "tent". That's what my tica family calls my new umbrella.
...smiled when one of my students turned to me and asked, "Why are there some US citizens who don't have blue eyes?" I got to explain to her that the United States is actually a mix of all cultures, how my ancestors are from Holland and Germany. "So you mean that people speak Spanish there?" I told her that yes, some people speak Spanish there, mostly Latinos. "And are there dark-skinned people?" It was a glorious moment when I responded with, "Why yes there are. In fact, our president is dark-skinned."
--Hannah
...saw Tatiana on the bus, another young woman who was a care free goofball last time I saw her. Today though, she was holding her waling two-year-old son.
...missed Nik.
...realized I am going to miss the incredibly delicious bakeries here. They are on every block practically and there is not a single thing that doesn't taste like a slice of heaven.
...learned that "carpa" means "tent". That's what my tica family calls my new umbrella.
...smiled when one of my students turned to me and asked, "Why are there some US citizens who don't have blue eyes?" I got to explain to her that the United States is actually a mix of all cultures, how my ancestors are from Holland and Germany. "So you mean that people speak Spanish there?" I told her that yes, some people speak Spanish there, mostly Latinos. "And are there dark-skinned people?" It was a glorious moment when I responded with, "Why yes there are. In fact, our president is dark-skinned."
--Hannah
Monday, October 5, 2009
Day 48.
Today, I..
...saw a lot of young men in Aeropostle shirts. This is normal.
...missed riding the bus home from a hard-fought volleyball match, stuffing my face full of croissants and fruit snacks.
...realized that I am going to miss the way mother/son relationships are so strong in Latin America. Yes, it can cause for some ugly drama in the family, but in the States you rarely see a twenty-year-old man walking with his mother, her arm in his. Here, you'll see it on nearly every block.
...learned that some of the girls at the Institute are active gang leaders. Initially I was a little frightened by this, but then I realized something: they're the same girls I've known for the last month and a half, the same girls who are reaching out for God's hand, and the same girls I've grown to keep close to my heart. This just makes me want to teach them more, share with them more, and love them more. So I will.
...smiled when little Maria (the 3-year-old sister of one of my students) saw me from a distance, ran into my arms and pieced together "Mah aiba!" which I gathered was "Mas arriba! Higher!" I hoisted her up in the air, letting her touch the ceiling, squealing.
--Hannah
...saw a lot of young men in Aeropostle shirts. This is normal.
...missed riding the bus home from a hard-fought volleyball match, stuffing my face full of croissants and fruit snacks.
...realized that I am going to miss the way mother/son relationships are so strong in Latin America. Yes, it can cause for some ugly drama in the family, but in the States you rarely see a twenty-year-old man walking with his mother, her arm in his. Here, you'll see it on nearly every block.
...learned that some of the girls at the Institute are active gang leaders. Initially I was a little frightened by this, but then I realized something: they're the same girls I've known for the last month and a half, the same girls who are reaching out for God's hand, and the same girls I've grown to keep close to my heart. This just makes me want to teach them more, share with them more, and love them more. So I will.
...smiled when little Maria (the 3-year-old sister of one of my students) saw me from a distance, ran into my arms and pieced together "Mah aiba!" which I gathered was "Mas arriba! Higher!" I hoisted her up in the air, letting her touch the ceiling, squealing.
--Hannah
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