Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Day 224.

Well...this week has been semana santa (holy week) so pretty much everything in the country has shut down. It's the only time apart from Christmas when my host dad gets off of work, none of the buses run, and my family took off for the beach. Meanwhile, I single-handedly gave myself food poisoning on Sunday night (too much cake mix cookie dough mix = NOT a good idea), so I've spent the last three days in reflection, prayer, and MTV's Teen Mom marathons.

It has all been wonderful, except for when it hasn't, to quote my mother. Monday morning shortly after my host family left, I had my first honest to goodness meltdown since I've been here. The last time I cried that hard was as I sat in SeaTac, waiting to board a plane and leave my home seven and a half months ago. These same sobs kept stumbling out of my mouth:

  • Why isn't my mommy here when I'm sick?
  • What if I throw up?
  • What if my girls don't pass their tests?
  • Do I really want to go to school half way across the country?
  • WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY LAPTOP?!
  • Will I be able to lose the weight I've gained here?
  • Since when did I get so lazy?
  • Did my facebook fast cure my addiction? Or will I have to do it a third time?
  • How can I serve people and still be so selfish?
  • Will I forget all my Spanish?
  • How much have my States-side friends changed?
  • How much have I changed?
All these things kept spilling out until there was just an empty me in an empty house. The phone card that Alanna generously left me wouldn't go through, but my amazing incredible holy wonderfuly brilliant fantastic parents sent me some very encouraging emails. I received a whole helping of meaty nuggets of strength from a variety of friends and family. Let me pass on a few to you:

"All we can do is keep breathing..."
- my mother / Ingrid Michaelson
"I don't think that there is any way we can feel God's grace without some sort of turmoil going on in our lives."
- Evan Knoch
"I LOVE YOU! BE SAFE!"
- my cousin Ali

"You're an excellent communicator and it doesn't always have to be done through film or photos."
- my daddy

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
- Forrest. Forrest Gump.

I woke up this morning and clung to these two thoughts:


God is good.
I love my life.

What else is there to say?

Love,
Hannah

3 comments:

  1. Hannah! This is Henry! I just wanted to tell you that I might have figured out the problem with your laptop! I think that the backlight, which lights up the LCD screen may have burned out. :( However, this is fixable! Next time we talk I can talk to you about lappy's symptoms.

    Your littlest brother,
    Henry!

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  2. KumKwatts~
    We are always thinking of you and praying for you! Rachel is in Ghana with Grandma Judy (Griffin) now, so I'm going to be missing her for the next two months. She's loving working with the kids, and I know that God will continue to work in both of your lives through your trips - God IS GOOD!!!
    Love,
    Amiba

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  3. Hannah,

    This morning was our first back at WPC since we left you, and I can't begin to tell you how many people wanted to hear about you. You are loved and thought of by the entirety of the WPC congregation, I swear (and I went to the 11 am service too!!)

    John

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