...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQAG5RengFM
--Hannah
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Day 130.
Christmas Observations:
Christmas Eve:
- At around noon, I head over to the CFCI office where a team of a dozen or so people were preparing a Christmas Eve dinner for 100+ homeless people in downtown San Jose. Let's just say I got really good at cutting papaya.
- By the time 6:30 came around, we had made a whole ice chest full of arroz con pollo, -- rice with chicken -- two jumbo Gatorade dispenser's worth of fruit salad, and six garbage bags of potato chips. Our team drove into a dark corner of downtown with our humble banquet. I was the only person from the US.
- People were waiting for us before we even arrived. Don Horacio, the Argentinean pastor behind our whole plan, leads a weekly Bible study with his "sheep of the streets" and knows most of them by name. The majority showed up in some sort of intoxicated state -- stinking, swearing, weeping...but by looking at how Don Horacio prayed for, embraced, and served every single one of them, you would think he was in the presence of Jesus himself. And I think he was. We all were.
- At one point, a car pulled up and some of the homeless folks literally bolted to the vehicle, scrambling back with bags of white in their hands. A few policemen were present (something that definitely made me feel a bit more secure), and ran over to see what the commotion was about -- all the while eager hands grasped at the car window. The police didn't do anything though, they just stood by and watched as these drug addicts were obviously receiving whatever it was that fed their addiction. Slowly though, I began to notice what was in the bags...it wasn't crack cocaine. It was sandwiches. And cookies. A Colombian couple had the same idea as us, making food for people that are usually forgotten during the holidays. Lesson: God takes our tragic assumptions about the human race and turns them into miracles.
- After that whole extravaganza, I returned home and had the opportunity to skype with the Holtgeerts side of the fam. Then my Costa Rican family and I devoured a delicious roast beast at midnight (a tradition here that I definitely want to continue with my family in the States).
- My host mom gave me a jar of crunchy peanut butter. She knows me too well.
Christmas Day:
- Christmas morning I opened presents with my family in a-town via skype, which included the annual Christmas production that Luke, Henry, and I put on for my parents. Henry played a song on the piano, Luke played some tunes on his tuba, and I plucked my ukulele for a bit. We also recited Emma Lazarus's "A New Collosus" together. Okay, actually Luke and I recited it...Henry performed an interpretive dance to our recitation.
- Later that day I went over to Melisa's mom's house and enjoyed another Christmas feast, eating the BEST lasagna I have ever consumed in my entire life. We also watched "John Tucker Must Die" dubbed in Spanish (I'm actually getting much better at that!).
- While hanging out with Melisa, we had a great discussion about Mormons. Her theory? "Why do all the missionaries that they send out have to be tan guapos?! Sooo handsome? I mean come on -- that's just cheating!"
The 26th:
- I woke up to run off some of the kilos of food my stomach is still trying to digest (I believe my food baby now has a twin), stepped outside, and decide that because my fingernails were sweating, it might be best to just sprawl on my sheets and watch the Cotton Patch Gospel (thanks parentals).
- Today I downed my seventh tamale of the season.
- In the afternoon, as my family and I sweltered in the 100+ heat, my host mom whipped up some "granizados" -- shaved ice smothered in sickly sweet red syrup, sweetened condensed milk, and evaporated milk. So bad, but so so good.
- This evening I got to chat with my Rarig side of the fam; it was great hearing from Aunt Natalie, Aunt Karol, and my beloved Jeanbean.
- Apart from that, I watched lots of Recess episodes on youtube.
Other observations:
- Two things that are considered holiday delicacies here: plump grapes with seeds you could easily choke on and beautiful Washington-grown Red Delicious apples.
- Last week I finished my mom's sentence for the first time! Now this may not seem like a big deal (It's something both my mother Valerie and I are incredibly guilty of in the States), but I actually knew what my host mom was going to say. IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
- At Melisa's house, I also tried an oatmeal concoction of sorts: oatmeal, milk, and some sugar. Far more delicious than I anticipated.
- My friend Anders Rodin sent me a very touching facebook message, warming my heart by describing how he had presented his restaurant meal leftovers to a homeless man, saying "I knew that he would enjoy those leftovers more than I had even enjoyed my meal." Amen.
- One of the volunteers helping on Christmas Eve had spent quite some time in the States, and he obviously wanted a chance to practice his English with me. We talked about Christmas and he asked if I was missing home. Well duh. He began talking about the feelings of Christmas, hinting that commercialism has consumed the true meaning and that we get lost in the feel-good, warm romantic sentiments that we all associate with December. He talked about sitting next to a lonely old woman in Orlando who questioned his anticipation of the approaching 25th day of the 12th month. His response? "I don't celebrate Christmas day. I celebrate Christ being born every day in my heart." Well yes, that is just dandy and a fabulous Sunday School textbook answer, but I can say I don't agree with it. Of course we are to celebrate Christ's birth every day, but I feel that Advent is a special time of waiting, anticipation, and joy. To deny it these emotions I feel is to disgrace the gift that God has given us of feeling deep things stir within our hearts, reach out, and touch each other in warmth during the coldest time of the year.
- I wrote this poem in honor of Joy Brandli. I think it highlights the importance of Advent and expecting something.
- My host sister Laura made us chocolate chip cookies that were charred, flat, and the chips poked out like little round rabbit poops. I miss real Christmas cookies. And heavenly treats.
- This is my favorite reading from the "Watch for the Light" book of Advent readings that my parents sent to me:
--Hannah
PS SARAH MOSES-WINYARD. If you are reading this, please know that there is a present waiting for you at my house. It seems you've gotten all mature on me again and deleted your facebook. I'm impressed as usual.
Christmas Eve:
- At around noon, I head over to the CFCI office where a team of a dozen or so people were preparing a Christmas Eve dinner for 100+ homeless people in downtown San Jose. Let's just say I got really good at cutting papaya.
- By the time 6:30 came around, we had made a whole ice chest full of arroz con pollo, -- rice with chicken -- two jumbo Gatorade dispenser's worth of fruit salad, and six garbage bags of potato chips. Our team drove into a dark corner of downtown with our humble banquet. I was the only person from the US.
- People were waiting for us before we even arrived. Don Horacio, the Argentinean pastor behind our whole plan, leads a weekly Bible study with his "sheep of the streets" and knows most of them by name. The majority showed up in some sort of intoxicated state -- stinking, swearing, weeping...but by looking at how Don Horacio prayed for, embraced, and served every single one of them, you would think he was in the presence of Jesus himself. And I think he was. We all were.
- At one point, a car pulled up and some of the homeless folks literally bolted to the vehicle, scrambling back with bags of white in their hands. A few policemen were present (something that definitely made me feel a bit more secure), and ran over to see what the commotion was about -- all the while eager hands grasped at the car window. The police didn't do anything though, they just stood by and watched as these drug addicts were obviously receiving whatever it was that fed their addiction. Slowly though, I began to notice what was in the bags...it wasn't crack cocaine. It was sandwiches. And cookies. A Colombian couple had the same idea as us, making food for people that are usually forgotten during the holidays. Lesson: God takes our tragic assumptions about the human race and turns them into miracles.
- After that whole extravaganza, I returned home and had the opportunity to skype with the Holtgeerts side of the fam. Then my Costa Rican family and I devoured a delicious roast beast at midnight (a tradition here that I definitely want to continue with my family in the States).
- My host mom gave me a jar of crunchy peanut butter. She knows me too well.
Christmas Day:
- Christmas morning I opened presents with my family in a-town via skype, which included the annual Christmas production that Luke, Henry, and I put on for my parents. Henry played a song on the piano, Luke played some tunes on his tuba, and I plucked my ukulele for a bit. We also recited Emma Lazarus's "A New Collosus" together. Okay, actually Luke and I recited it...Henry performed an interpretive dance to our recitation.
- Later that day I went over to Melisa's mom's house and enjoyed another Christmas feast, eating the BEST lasagna I have ever consumed in my entire life. We also watched "John Tucker Must Die" dubbed in Spanish (I'm actually getting much better at that!).
- While hanging out with Melisa, we had a great discussion about Mormons. Her theory? "Why do all the missionaries that they send out have to be tan guapos?! Sooo handsome? I mean come on -- that's just cheating!"
The 26th:
- I woke up to run off some of the kilos of food my stomach is still trying to digest (I believe my food baby now has a twin), stepped outside, and decide that because my fingernails were sweating, it might be best to just sprawl on my sheets and watch the Cotton Patch Gospel (thanks parentals).
- Today I downed my seventh tamale of the season.
- In the afternoon, as my family and I sweltered in the 100+ heat, my host mom whipped up some "granizados" -- shaved ice smothered in sickly sweet red syrup, sweetened condensed milk, and evaporated milk. So bad, but so so good.
- This evening I got to chat with my Rarig side of the fam; it was great hearing from Aunt Natalie, Aunt Karol, and my beloved Jeanbean.
- Apart from that, I watched lots of Recess episodes on youtube.
Other observations:
- Two things that are considered holiday delicacies here: plump grapes with seeds you could easily choke on and beautiful Washington-grown Red Delicious apples.
- Last week I finished my mom's sentence for the first time! Now this may not seem like a big deal (It's something both my mother Valerie and I are incredibly guilty of in the States), but I actually knew what my host mom was going to say. IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
- At Melisa's house, I also tried an oatmeal concoction of sorts: oatmeal, milk, and some sugar. Far more delicious than I anticipated.
- My friend Anders Rodin sent me a very touching facebook message, warming my heart by describing how he had presented his restaurant meal leftovers to a homeless man, saying "I knew that he would enjoy those leftovers more than I had even enjoyed my meal." Amen.
- One of the volunteers helping on Christmas Eve had spent quite some time in the States, and he obviously wanted a chance to practice his English with me. We talked about Christmas and he asked if I was missing home. Well duh. He began talking about the feelings of Christmas, hinting that commercialism has consumed the true meaning and that we get lost in the feel-good, warm romantic sentiments that we all associate with December. He talked about sitting next to a lonely old woman in Orlando who questioned his anticipation of the approaching 25th day of the 12th month. His response? "I don't celebrate Christmas day. I celebrate Christ being born every day in my heart." Well yes, that is just dandy and a fabulous Sunday School textbook answer, but I can say I don't agree with it. Of course we are to celebrate Christ's birth every day, but I feel that Advent is a special time of waiting, anticipation, and joy. To deny it these emotions I feel is to disgrace the gift that God has given us of feeling deep things stir within our hearts, reach out, and touch each other in warmth during the coldest time of the year.
- I wrote this poem in honor of Joy Brandli. I think it highlights the importance of Advent and expecting something.
Waiting.- Every since December started, fireworks are constantly blaring all through the day and night. It made reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns" a lot more real with large explosions in the background.
So here I am, waiting.
Waiting like an unopened envelope,
like a forgotten promise.
I wait in the sunshine,
I wait in the storm drain.
For what?
For unanswered questions,
for kitchen timers to sound.
I wait for the bus to pull up
and the plane to take off.
Once I waited a long time,
a long, long time,
to get from one place to another.
Now I wait to return.
I am waiting for a boy to enter my life as a man,
and for a Holy Man to enter my heart as a baby boy.esperar v.:Is that what this is?
1. "to wait"
2. "to hope"
Hoping?
That is a pleasant thought,
but terrifying.
For so often,
God refuses to give us what we wait for.
But rather,
we are presented with something far better
than what we could have ever hoped.
- My host sister Laura made us chocolate chip cookies that were charred, flat, and the chips poked out like little round rabbit poops. I miss real Christmas cookies. And heavenly treats.
- This is my favorite reading from the "Watch for the Light" book of Advent readings that my parents sent to me:
"What matters in the deeper experience of contemplation is not the doing and accomplishing. what matters is relationship, the being with. We create holy ground and give birth to Christ in our time not by doing but by believing and by loving the mysterious Infinite One who stirs within. This requires trust that something of great and saving importance is growing and kicking its heels in you."- Today I put all my Christmas music on my external hard drive and deleted it off my computer. Time to move on.
-- Loretta Ross-Gotta
--Hannah
PS SARAH MOSES-WINYARD. If you are reading this, please know that there is a present waiting for you at my house. It seems you've gotten all mature on me again and deleted your facebook. I'm impressed as usual.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Day 127.
Today, I...
...saw Annie Grumbles, a girl who went to Sojourn with me six years ago. She grew up in Costa Rica and is now attending William and Mary. We talked about roommates, cultural differences, Steinbeck, and volleyball. Who would've known that after six years, we'd still find each other conversing together in Fresas, a delightful restaurant? God is good.
...missed Christmas cookies, heavenly treats, and mudpuppies.
...realized I am going to miss how not stressed I am here.
...learned how to play two songs on the charango, a Peruvian more sophisticated ukulele. I spent the night at Melisa's last night and she taught me how; it made me realize how much I missed making music with people. I also watched "Pursuit of Happyness" and "Driving Lessons", both for the first time. I highly recommend both.
...smiled when I talked to my MoPo on skype. :)
--Hannah
...saw Annie Grumbles, a girl who went to Sojourn with me six years ago. She grew up in Costa Rica and is now attending William and Mary. We talked about roommates, cultural differences, Steinbeck, and volleyball. Who would've known that after six years, we'd still find each other conversing together in Fresas, a delightful restaurant? God is good.
...missed Christmas cookies, heavenly treats, and mudpuppies.
...realized I am going to miss how not stressed I am here.
...learned how to play two songs on the charango, a Peruvian more sophisticated ukulele. I spent the night at Melisa's last night and she taught me how; it made me realize how much I missed making music with people. I also watched "Pursuit of Happyness" and "Driving Lessons", both for the first time. I highly recommend both.
...smiled when I talked to my MoPo on skype. :)
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Day 126.
Well break has started, and like every other 18 year old on the planet I am doing next to nothing.
So far I've delivered a few Christmas presents, received some in return, taken a few pictures, done plenty of reading, wasted lots of time on stumblupon.com...it's been relaxing.
Oh! Big event! The girl I mentioned before is going to be my roommate at DePaul after all! Her name is Sophie, she's from Sufjan Stevens' hometown, her bedroom walls are plastered in photos/magazine cutouts/etc, and she lives for NPR. We're pretty much destined to live together.
I feel that I haven't really been sharing much of my creative energy as of late, so I'm going to post the lyrics to a little tune I made up on my uke a while back. I hope you like them.
"Life the Life"
I want to live the life I love,
I want to love the life I live,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give.
I want to give away my heart,
I want to give away my soul,
I want to give away, give away,
but gain the whole.
Gain the whole wide world,
Gain the sun and the stars --
Have you ever really realized how lonely we are?
Thank God that we have people,
Thank God that we have friends,
Thank God that we can be our seven-year-old selves once again.
Cause I love the taste of dirt
And I like love even when it hurts
And when the wind whispers,
"I love you..."
And the pebble say,
"We are proud
Of all that you have done
And of what you will become."
And the sea sighs,
"Why must you be sad?
Your smile is far more beautiful.
You're beautiful."
--Hannah
So far I've delivered a few Christmas presents, received some in return, taken a few pictures, done plenty of reading, wasted lots of time on stumblupon.com...it's been relaxing.
Oh! Big event! The girl I mentioned before is going to be my roommate at DePaul after all! Her name is Sophie, she's from Sufjan Stevens' hometown, her bedroom walls are plastered in photos/magazine cutouts/etc, and she lives for NPR. We're pretty much destined to live together.
I feel that I haven't really been sharing much of my creative energy as of late, so I'm going to post the lyrics to a little tune I made up on my uke a while back. I hope you like them.
"Life the Life"
I want to live the life I love,
I want to love the life I live,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give,
I want to give.
I want to give away my heart,
I want to give away my soul,
I want to give away, give away,
but gain the whole.
Gain the whole wide world,
Gain the sun and the stars --
Have you ever really realized how lonely we are?
Thank God that we have people,
Thank God that we have friends,
Thank God that we can be our seven-year-old selves once again.
Cause I love the taste of dirt
And I like love even when it hurts
And when the wind whispers,
"I love you..."
And the pebble say,
"We are proud
Of all that you have done
And of what you will become."
And the sea sighs,
"Why must you be sad?
Your smile is far more beautiful.
You're beautiful."
--Hannah
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Day 123.
Let me apologize for not posting in a while. Alanna's dad and brother came, which means two things:
1) I received a package from my parents, sent down with Alanna's fam.
2) I had to finish the package I wanted to send back with Alanna's fam to my parents.
The latter was much easier than the first, which required no creative hours or mess.
Apart from that, I now return from teaching at 5:30 instead of 2:30 like all of last month. My math class is doing alright. I have two students who nearly aced the final exam I gave them before Christmas (one is just genuinely bright while the other one actually studies), but my other girls all failed. Pretty miserably. Yesterday though, we had planned an auction of sorts, using all the points they had earned through participation, homework completion, and test scores as a form of fake currency to buy random plastic crap I purchased at the office supply store owned by a nice Chinese family near my house. Connie Congleton, my second grade teacher, did the same thing when I was seven and I remember my class absolutely loving it. My class of seventeen year olds did too.
The interesting thing was how whenever two girls would get in a bidding frenzy, the winner would give the prize to the loser. There was also lots of "Just give so-and-so all my points". We'll have another auction after the tests, in April, and I'm excited to see if this attitude is going to prevail or if it was just part of the Christmas spirit.
Speaking of which, Christmas is rapidly approaching and I can't wait. Yesterday was our giant "Feliz Navidad Lunch" with all the girls that are part of the Refuge ministries (either as students during the week, or part of the craft crew on Saturday, or a player on the soccer team). We ended up serving lunch to 85 girls, and a lot of them were at other Christmas Parties at school. It was an awesome visual of how many young women are impacted by Christ for the City every week.
As part of the program, Alanna performed two songs with her choir of five girls; everyone cheered gloriously at the end for them. The soccer team did a lip sync with choreography to some Spanish Christian rap song that was a huge hit. As soon as it was over, everyone just screamed "Again! Again!". So what did they do? They performed the exact same thing. Again.
My host mom just cranked out a batch of 100 tamales yesterday and I had the privilege of eating the first one. I remember hating them when I was here as a twelve-year-old (the tamales here are wrapped in banana leaves, not corn husks like in Mexico. This gives them a bit of a different flavor), but like every time I try a new food, I realize my taste buds have changed.
I now have a small pile of presents to open on Christmas morning and have been playing Harry Connick Jr. and the Muppets Christmas nonstop (more things my parents sent down).
However, this delicious serving of Christmas cheer didn't come without its share of bitter cold (okay, really there has been no cold. It's been 80 every day. That was just a terrible metaphor): the long awaited webcam my parents sent to me turned out to not be compatible with my mac, so no opening presents with them on Christmas morning. That really hit hard and a rather homesick/downtrodden me fell asleep watching Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer in ten-minute chunks on youtube last night.
And then I woke up. The sun kept shining, my host mom kept smiling, and there was another day ahead of me. My host sister, brother, and sister-in-law invited me to go to the beach with them tomorrow, Susie and Sarita (two very veteran missionaries here) asked me to join them on a two day trip to the country side after Christmas, and a message was waiting for me in my facebook inbox from a girl in Michigan who seems full of potential roommate material.
Basically, I can stay in bed today and sulk, but life is going to keep throwing blessings at me. So I think I'm gonna get up, go for a run, call my Peruvian friends, and enjoy the days that are precious to me...which is every day.
--Hannah
1) I received a package from my parents, sent down with Alanna's fam.
2) I had to finish the package I wanted to send back with Alanna's fam to my parents.
The latter was much easier than the first, which required no creative hours or mess.
Apart from that, I now return from teaching at 5:30 instead of 2:30 like all of last month. My math class is doing alright. I have two students who nearly aced the final exam I gave them before Christmas (one is just genuinely bright while the other one actually studies), but my other girls all failed. Pretty miserably. Yesterday though, we had planned an auction of sorts, using all the points they had earned through participation, homework completion, and test scores as a form of fake currency to buy random plastic crap I purchased at the office supply store owned by a nice Chinese family near my house. Connie Congleton, my second grade teacher, did the same thing when I was seven and I remember my class absolutely loving it. My class of seventeen year olds did too.
The interesting thing was how whenever two girls would get in a bidding frenzy, the winner would give the prize to the loser. There was also lots of "Just give so-and-so all my points". We'll have another auction after the tests, in April, and I'm excited to see if this attitude is going to prevail or if it was just part of the Christmas spirit.
Speaking of which, Christmas is rapidly approaching and I can't wait. Yesterday was our giant "Feliz Navidad Lunch" with all the girls that are part of the Refuge ministries (either as students during the week, or part of the craft crew on Saturday, or a player on the soccer team). We ended up serving lunch to 85 girls, and a lot of them were at other Christmas Parties at school. It was an awesome visual of how many young women are impacted by Christ for the City every week.
As part of the program, Alanna performed two songs with her choir of five girls; everyone cheered gloriously at the end for them. The soccer team did a lip sync with choreography to some Spanish Christian rap song that was a huge hit. As soon as it was over, everyone just screamed "Again! Again!". So what did they do? They performed the exact same thing. Again.
My host mom just cranked out a batch of 100 tamales yesterday and I had the privilege of eating the first one. I remember hating them when I was here as a twelve-year-old (the tamales here are wrapped in banana leaves, not corn husks like in Mexico. This gives them a bit of a different flavor), but like every time I try a new food, I realize my taste buds have changed.
I now have a small pile of presents to open on Christmas morning and have been playing Harry Connick Jr. and the Muppets Christmas nonstop (more things my parents sent down).
However, this delicious serving of Christmas cheer didn't come without its share of bitter cold (okay, really there has been no cold. It's been 80 every day. That was just a terrible metaphor): the long awaited webcam my parents sent to me turned out to not be compatible with my mac, so no opening presents with them on Christmas morning. That really hit hard and a rather homesick/downtrodden me fell asleep watching Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer in ten-minute chunks on youtube last night.
And then I woke up. The sun kept shining, my host mom kept smiling, and there was another day ahead of me. My host sister, brother, and sister-in-law invited me to go to the beach with them tomorrow, Susie and Sarita (two very veteran missionaries here) asked me to join them on a two day trip to the country side after Christmas, and a message was waiting for me in my facebook inbox from a girl in Michigan who seems full of potential roommate material.
Basically, I can stay in bed today and sulk, but life is going to keep throwing blessings at me. So I think I'm gonna get up, go for a run, call my Peruvian friends, and enjoy the days that are precious to me...which is every day.
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Day 119.
Today, I...
...finished A Christmas Carol. This place is a great habitat for plowing through literature.
...missed celebrating Advent at my church.
...realized I am going to miss looking at infinite numbers of fried foods and thinking, "Mmm....one of these days I'm going to try that one!"
...learned that for Alanna, this place really truly is home.
...smiled when my tica mom invited me to go Christmas shopping at Mercado Central. We make quite the pair walking through the streets of San Jose.
--Hannah
...finished A Christmas Carol. This place is a great habitat for plowing through literature.
...missed celebrating Advent at my church.
...realized I am going to miss looking at infinite numbers of fried foods and thinking, "Mmm....one of these days I'm going to try that one!"
...learned that for Alanna, this place really truly is home.
...smiled when my tica mom invited me to go Christmas shopping at Mercado Central. We make quite the pair walking through the streets of San Jose.
--Hannah
Monday, December 14, 2009
Day 118.
Today, I...
...saw a chicken get decapitated, then watched its wings flap helplessly while its head dangled by a dismembered nervous system. Yummy.
...missed decorating my Christmas tree with my family in the States.
...realized I am going to miss driving home from church with my host parents.
...learned that I have some incredibly hard working students. And some not so hard working ones.
...smiled when I read this from A Christmas Carol (my mother left it for me -- SUCH a good book!):
--Hannah
...saw a chicken get decapitated, then watched its wings flap helplessly while its head dangled by a dismembered nervous system. Yummy.
...missed decorating my Christmas tree with my family in the States.
...realized I am going to miss driving home from church with my host parents.
...learned that I have some incredibly hard working students. And some not so hard working ones.
...smiled when I read this from A Christmas Carol (my mother left it for me -- SUCH a good book!):
"There are many things from which I might have derived good by which I have not profited, I daresay," returned the nephew, "Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmastime, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart form that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"
--Hannah
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Day 114.
Today I...
...saw understanding brighten up one of my students' faces as she finally understood how to measure with a protractor. She couldn't grasp that if one side of an angle started at 30 degrees, and the other was at 120, the angle was only 90 degrees, not 120. I compared it to a telenovela (Spanish soap opera) starting at 2 and ending at 5 -- the novela is three hours long because you don't include any time prior to its beginning. Suddenly she understood. Nothing like TV in the classroom.
...missed home a lot today. Everyone told me Christmas time would be hard, and they are sure right. I miss Christmas Calculus parties, Christmas mugs, Christmas music (I spent three hours trying to figure out homesharing on iTunes so I can listen to my family's collection of Harry Connick Jr, but then found out that homesharing only works on computers in the same room...), the anticipation of snow, and Anacortes bundled up on blustery days.
...realized I am going to miss the way people can encourage me, even if they are thousands of miles away.
...learned that I love the victorious taste of my own sweat.
...smiled when I made myself my own vanilla steamer. :)
--Hannah
...saw understanding brighten up one of my students' faces as she finally understood how to measure with a protractor. She couldn't grasp that if one side of an angle started at 30 degrees, and the other was at 120, the angle was only 90 degrees, not 120. I compared it to a telenovela (Spanish soap opera) starting at 2 and ending at 5 -- the novela is three hours long because you don't include any time prior to its beginning. Suddenly she understood. Nothing like TV in the classroom.
...missed home a lot today. Everyone told me Christmas time would be hard, and they are sure right. I miss Christmas Calculus parties, Christmas mugs, Christmas music (I spent three hours trying to figure out homesharing on iTunes so I can listen to my family's collection of Harry Connick Jr, but then found out that homesharing only works on computers in the same room...), the anticipation of snow, and Anacortes bundled up on blustery days.
...realized I am going to miss the way people can encourage me, even if they are thousands of miles away.
...learned that I love the victorious taste of my own sweat.
...smiled when I made myself my own vanilla steamer. :)
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Day 112.
Today, I...
...cranked out a slew of home-made earrings for Christmas presents while watching "Millions". If you haven't seen that film, watch it -- it's one of Danny Boyle's lesser-known majesties.
...missed seeing my Gram and Granddad's lit-up Christmas wreath from the bottom of their launchpad driveway.
...realized I am going to miss the way that people are captivated by my blond hair.
...learned the real meaning of the phrase "love unconditionally". It means loving some one no matter what condition they're in. That means when they're homeless, when they're cranky, when they're unequipped, when they're stupid, when they're not paying attention, when they're gossiping, when they're drunk, when they're bragging, when they're annoying, when they're short-tempered, when they've let you down, when they've torn you down, when they haven't bathed, when they've thrown up on you, when they've deliberately disobeyed you, when they're acting like a parent, when they're doing something they'll regret...THAT is when you're supposed to love them. And me, because I've certainly done more than my fair share of those things.
...smiled as I re-read this passage from "Watch for the Light", a book of readings for Advent that my parents left me:
-Hannah
...cranked out a slew of home-made earrings for Christmas presents while watching "Millions". If you haven't seen that film, watch it -- it's one of Danny Boyle's lesser-known majesties.
...missed seeing my Gram and Granddad's lit-up Christmas wreath from the bottom of their launchpad driveway.
...realized I am going to miss the way that people are captivated by my blond hair.
...learned the real meaning of the phrase "love unconditionally". It means loving some one no matter what condition they're in. That means when they're homeless, when they're cranky, when they're unequipped, when they're stupid, when they're not paying attention, when they're gossiping, when they're drunk, when they're bragging, when they're annoying, when they're short-tempered, when they've let you down, when they've torn you down, when they haven't bathed, when they've thrown up on you, when they've deliberately disobeyed you, when they're acting like a parent, when they're doing something they'll regret...THAT is when you're supposed to love them. And me, because I've certainly done more than my fair share of those things.
...smiled as I re-read this passage from "Watch for the Light", a book of readings for Advent that my parents left me:
"Contrary to all our fond hopes, you seized upon precisely this human life and made it your own. And you did this not in order to change or abolish it, not so that you could visibly and tangibly transform it, not to divinize it. You didn't even fill it to overflowing with the kind of goods that men are able to wrest from the small, rocky acre of their temporal life, and which they laboriously store away as their meager provision for eternity.
No, you took upon yourself our kind of life, just as it is. You let it slip away from you, just as ours vanishes from us. You held on to it carefully, so that not a single drop of its torments would be spilled. You hoarded its every fleeting moment."
--Karl Rahner
-Hannah
Monday, December 7, 2009
Day 111.
Today, I...
...re-read Ender's Game. Some amazing quotes, including:
"You may hate me for it, Ender, but keep thsi in mind -- it only works because what's between you, that's reall, that's hat matters. Billions of those connections between human beings. That's what you're fighting to keep alive."
...missed Mila and making movies.
...realized I am going to miss the days when the power goes out and my host family and I stand outside to look at the stars.
...learned that my AP scores made me exempt from my DePaul placement tests! I don't have to worry about taking those blasted things -- SUCH a good feeling.
...smiled when the sun woke me up.
--Hannah
...re-read Ender's Game. Some amazing quotes, including:
"You may hate me for it, Ender, but keep thsi in mind -- it only works because what's between you, that's reall, that's hat matters. Billions of those connections between human beings. That's what you're fighting to keep alive."
...missed Mila and making movies.
...realized I am going to miss the days when the power goes out and my host family and I stand outside to look at the stars.
...learned that my AP scores made me exempt from my DePaul placement tests! I don't have to worry about taking those blasted things -- SUCH a good feeling.
...smiled when the sun woke me up.
--Hannah
Friday, December 4, 2009
Day 108.
The Story of the Sandia
This morning I woke up with a craving for sandia. Watermelon.
So I decided to get some.
First I woke up at 5:30 and finished making a math test for my students. Then I thought of the watermelon.
Next I went on a run in the hot hot heat. Still, I thought of the watermelon.
Then I sat myself on the bus and planned out the purchase. I would get to work, give my girls their test, and then buy the plump red perfection on my way home through downtown.
I got to La Carpio. My students presented their Infomercial assignments; I had told them to "sell" various geometric shapes, cramming lots of information about each two-dimensional form in a short amount of time. One group promised the rest of the class that a quadrilateral was the best deal on the market -- "We'll throw in not one, not two, not three, but FOUR angles!" That made me laugh.
Still, I thought of the watermelon.
After that, we spent thirty minutes on their vocabulary test. I read my book. And tasted the watermelon in my near future.
Once that was done, I hopped back on the bus. Only forty-five minutes left of this grueling anticipation.
Finally I had made it: I was in front of the fruit stand. It was staring me right in the face, as if every black seed from the quarter slice was an unblinking eye, begging to be consumed. I forked over 600 colones, about one dollar, knowing that I was getting ripped off (I can buy two pineapples for the same price). No matter. This was going to be a sacred snack.
Carrying my long-awaited juicy treasure through downtown, I began pondering the consumption. Should I eat it in the plaza? No, the piece was too big. I didn't have anything to cut it with...my 6'3" frame already provided enough clumsy attention.
I boarded my second bus and continued thinking. Should I just wait until I made it home, cut it there? No, there was an inedible, over-ripe watermelon waiting in the fridge. My host mother had bought it and would be confused why I had bought my own. It's a delicate thing, the relationship with a host family -- particularly when it comes to food. No, I couldn't eat it in my kitchen.
A broken woman with less teeth than fingers guided a pig-tailed girl through the crowded bus aisle. She began barking an oh-so-common woe-is-me life story, holding out dirty hands that had done dirty things. Again, the watermelon entered my mind -- should I eat it in the little park a block from my home, where the only thing that could mock my devouring was rainbow walls of graffiti? No...that was too dangerous, that park was empty for a reason.
"We have all made mistakes, all sinned," the words fell from her face like a band's first show, well-practiced but lacking presentation. "Solo Dios es perfecto...Only God is perfect." What if I just ate the watermelon alone in my room? Perhaps cut half of it to save for later, read some more. Here was something I had wanted for hours, had planned for, had savored the very thought of savoring it. What was the answer to my predicament?
We slammed on the brakes and words came rushing at me -- words from an unnamed taxi driver.
"The way I see it, every question, every worry, has a very clear solution. You have control of your actions. And if your question has no answer, if it isn't something you can fix, then why worry about it?"
Once more I saw eyes staring at me, but not the empty stare of seeds that would never be planted. No, these were the eyes of the innocent youngling gripping at her mother's drug-scarred body. As her mom drilled and droned, the daughter looked at me. I looked back. The tattered soul that jabbered on, the tired empty shell that life had gnawed on and spat out, the ex-convict, the mother, the person in front of me -- she had been that little girl once. She had let her own mother play with her hair, she had found joy in a lollipop, she had held someone's hand, held it tight.
At that instant the answer was clear. As fingers fumbled through coin purses that held the promises of meals, textbooks, and future days, I took one last look at the watermelon.
"Para su familia," I offered, "For your family."
The woman placed her hand on my head and gave me a genuine grin that life had filled with empty spaces. "Dios te bendiga, mi amor...God bless you, sweetheart."
I saw Jesus in that woman. And you know what? I decided that was what I was really craving all along.
--Hannah
This morning I woke up with a craving for sandia. Watermelon.
So I decided to get some.
First I woke up at 5:30 and finished making a math test for my students. Then I thought of the watermelon.
Next I went on a run in the hot hot heat. Still, I thought of the watermelon.
Then I sat myself on the bus and planned out the purchase. I would get to work, give my girls their test, and then buy the plump red perfection on my way home through downtown.
I got to La Carpio. My students presented their Infomercial assignments; I had told them to "sell" various geometric shapes, cramming lots of information about each two-dimensional form in a short amount of time. One group promised the rest of the class that a quadrilateral was the best deal on the market -- "We'll throw in not one, not two, not three, but FOUR angles!" That made me laugh.
Still, I thought of the watermelon.
After that, we spent thirty minutes on their vocabulary test. I read my book. And tasted the watermelon in my near future.
Once that was done, I hopped back on the bus. Only forty-five minutes left of this grueling anticipation.
Finally I had made it: I was in front of the fruit stand. It was staring me right in the face, as if every black seed from the quarter slice was an unblinking eye, begging to be consumed. I forked over 600 colones, about one dollar, knowing that I was getting ripped off (I can buy two pineapples for the same price). No matter. This was going to be a sacred snack.
Carrying my long-awaited juicy treasure through downtown, I began pondering the consumption. Should I eat it in the plaza? No, the piece was too big. I didn't have anything to cut it with...my 6'3" frame already provided enough clumsy attention.
I boarded my second bus and continued thinking. Should I just wait until I made it home, cut it there? No, there was an inedible, over-ripe watermelon waiting in the fridge. My host mother had bought it and would be confused why I had bought my own. It's a delicate thing, the relationship with a host family -- particularly when it comes to food. No, I couldn't eat it in my kitchen.
A broken woman with less teeth than fingers guided a pig-tailed girl through the crowded bus aisle. She began barking an oh-so-common woe-is-me life story, holding out dirty hands that had done dirty things. Again, the watermelon entered my mind -- should I eat it in the little park a block from my home, where the only thing that could mock my devouring was rainbow walls of graffiti? No...that was too dangerous, that park was empty for a reason.
"We have all made mistakes, all sinned," the words fell from her face like a band's first show, well-practiced but lacking presentation. "Solo Dios es perfecto...Only God is perfect." What if I just ate the watermelon alone in my room? Perhaps cut half of it to save for later, read some more. Here was something I had wanted for hours, had planned for, had savored the very thought of savoring it. What was the answer to my predicament?
We slammed on the brakes and words came rushing at me -- words from an unnamed taxi driver.
"The way I see it, every question, every worry, has a very clear solution. You have control of your actions. And if your question has no answer, if it isn't something you can fix, then why worry about it?"
Once more I saw eyes staring at me, but not the empty stare of seeds that would never be planted. No, these were the eyes of the innocent youngling gripping at her mother's drug-scarred body. As her mom drilled and droned, the daughter looked at me. I looked back. The tattered soul that jabbered on, the tired empty shell that life had gnawed on and spat out, the ex-convict, the mother, the person in front of me -- she had been that little girl once. She had let her own mother play with her hair, she had found joy in a lollipop, she had held someone's hand, held it tight.
At that instant the answer was clear. As fingers fumbled through coin purses that held the promises of meals, textbooks, and future days, I took one last look at the watermelon.
"Para su familia," I offered, "For your family."
The woman placed her hand on my head and gave me a genuine grin that life had filled with empty spaces. "Dios te bendiga, mi amor...God bless you, sweetheart."
I saw Jesus in that woman. And you know what? I decided that was what I was really craving all along.
--Hannah
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Day 107.
Today I...
...saw God's love in the warm face of a silent bus driver, peering upturned at a mother and child through an oversized mirror -- watching, waiting, ensuring that the little bum was seated, snug and safe before the bus continued to lurch along.
...missed Tom and Lauren so much! It's amazing how being placed in a foreign place makes strangers so close.
...realized I am going to miss the daily 85 degree weather...
...learned that DePaul is giving me more money! I'm starting my housing application -- it's so weird realizing that my future really is unfolding.
...smiled at this amazing piece of writing from "A Thousand Splendid Suns":
While I don't agree with this quote (especially not after seeing my cousin Kit and Chelsea's wedding pictures -- BEAUTIFUL!), I do feel like so many mothers have offered this advice to the girls I teach, and that those girls in turn have/will say the same thing to their daughters. And looking at their experiences, I believe that some of them have reason.
--Hannah
...saw God's love in the warm face of a silent bus driver, peering upturned at a mother and child through an oversized mirror -- watching, waiting, ensuring that the little bum was seated, snug and safe before the bus continued to lurch along.
...missed Tom and Lauren so much! It's amazing how being placed in a foreign place makes strangers so close.
...realized I am going to miss the daily 85 degree weather...
...learned that DePaul is giving me more money! I'm starting my housing application -- it's so weird realizing that my future really is unfolding.
...smiled at this amazing piece of writing from "A Thousand Splendid Suns":
"Let me tell you something. A man's heart is a wretched, wretched thing Miriam. It isn't like a mother's womb. It won't bleed, it won't stretch to make room for you."
While I don't agree with this quote (especially not after seeing my cousin Kit and Chelsea's wedding pictures -- BEAUTIFUL!), I do feel like so many mothers have offered this advice to the girls I teach, and that those girls in turn have/will say the same thing to their daughters. And looking at their experiences, I believe that some of them have reason.
--Hannah
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Day 105.
105 Things about Costa Rica
I'm terribly sorry about the lack of updates. Between my family's visit, saying good-bye to some of my new best friends, and the fact that my internet has been down for the last five days, I haven't really had a chance to connect with the rest of the world.
Today is my 105th day in this country. For this reason, I am going to list 105 things that have happened, are happening, or are going to happen.
Enjoy.
1) My family visited. Amazing.
2) I started playing a board game called "Catan". You have to overthrow a medieval land, trade sheep for wood, and earn victory points. Believe me, it's MUCH cooler than it sounds.
3) Went to Panama for three nights with my bros and 'rents and Tom. Came back not a shade tanner, plastered in mosquito bites, and full of fun family memories.
4) Lauren left. So did Tom.
5) Looking back on the friendship I formed with that young man, I realized all the life lessons he taught me. Here are a few:
6) "Your parents are going to watch you grow up (Whether they are ready to or not)."
7) On college: "Just go to class."
8) "Even though finding fun in doing the 'right thing' can be harder, it's always more memorable."
9) "Why not get creative when drawing our your future?"
10) "If you're having a bad day, make it the BEST bad day ever."
11) Another amazing friend who I've learned a lot from is the incredible Elisabeth Raff. We met in June right before I left, but the way we get along you'd think I had spent two decades with her, not two months. Via facebook, we bounce back and forth bits of knowledge that life throws at us, learning and growing over the thousands of miles between us. She sent me a music mix that has become the new soundtrack to my life. Some songs you should listen to are:
12) "What'd I Say, Pts. 1 & 2" by Ray Charles
13) "La Vie En Rose" by Louis Armstrong
14) "Married Life" by Michael Giacchino (sounds sort of like "Giacolone...")
15) "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jazon Mraz
16) "My Only Offer" by Mates of State
17) ...and this lyric: "Every day I see my dream." That's sticking hard in my head right now.
18) Classes started up again. I'm now officially teaching a seventh grade math class (before I was just working with a handful of girls who had come too late to present their exams -- now I have them along with the original class, none of which passed).
19) I'm going to see that every one of them passes come April.
20) The film "Stand and Deliver" had somewhat of a profound affect on me.
21) My friend Tom Kovach got a 800 on his math SATs. My friend Nik Massey turned 18. I remember them both as twelve-year-olds.
22) Another letter came from Joy Brandli, my youth group leader and life-long hero. When describing my blog, she used the words "heartwarming and heartbreaking, but definitely from the heart." <3 that woman and her future. :)
23) Another woman I feel SO much love towards -- Carmen, the cook out in Carpio. She has three sons and a daughter (18, 15, 13, and 12 years old respectively), and they adopted another young man into their family who is 16. Carmen represents the raw truth that is life in La Carpio: take what God has given you, the broken bits and pieces, and you can create a home that is far more beautiful than anything out of Better Homes and Gardens.
24) Yesterday my tica mom brought home a big jar of crunchy peanut butter for me. My heart soared.
25) Today she presented me with a single apple, something that I know costs 500 colones (around 80 cents). I bought an entire KILOGRAM of "Mamones Chinos" (fruits that you might mistake for sea anemones) for the same price.
26) Today I rode the bus with a crucifix and playboy bunny decals right next to each other.
27) Some times, I mistake people for heaps of clothes and heaps of clothes for people.
28) I recognize homeless people from six years ago.
29) I'm finally running again! Yay for friends who push you (Alanna).
30) The two of us have spawned a bizarre fascination with the Arthur theme song.
31) Alanna's starting a choir with the girls.
32) I've gotten really good at mindsweeper.
33) Susie (a missionary who has been here for 30+ years) had her brother come down last week, and he installed Microsoft Office and Open Office onto all my computers! NO MORE WORDPAD! HALLELUJAH!
34) On Saturday night, I went and watched Melisa (my Peruvian friend) play a little Peruvian guitar (smaller/cooler than my uke) with a group of nine women all performing traditional Peruvian music. SO COOL.
35) I also froze my butt off while watching the concert. Turns out this country can be cold.
36) Interesting fact about Costa Rica: there are restrictions on driving. Depending on the last digit of your license plate, there are different days of the week when you can't be on the road. Clever.
37) My host mother and siblings are all working in the polls for the upcoming elections in February.
38) Which is also when the Olympics will be happening! Yay!
39) I've learned that the longer you live with your parents, the more you fight with them.
40) And that I'm NEVER going to put a TV in front of my kitchen table. Sorry future husband.
41) 500 Days of Summer is a beautiful little story about love. It is NOT a love story.
42) Christmas is in less than a month, but I honestly feel like it's still summer. On TV, there's a commercial where a choir of women sunnily skip through a blue-skyed park, singing "Walking in a winter wonderland..." Oh irony.
43) The World Race crew leaves on Wednesday. Alanna heads home for Christmas for two weeks. I'm gonna be chilling -- err, probably sweating -- here on my own.
44) Except not! I have my host family to love, Kathy and her daughter who is visiting for the first time (praise God!), and the Lopezes (Tom's host family). They provide a HUGE christmas dinner to homeless people in the park where I catch the bus to Carpio. It's impossible to look at them and not see Christ shining through their smiles.
45) My bookshelf is a lot more snug now...thank you everyone who sent books down! You have no idea how much I appreciate that.
46) Other things that came with my parents:
47) Frangos. YUM.
48) New headphones...couldn't be happier.
49) The two latest editions of Relevant, full of truth-nuggets that I want to share with you:
50) "What is a cuss word? People keep saying Jesus didn't EVER use them but where is the list? If you have never been mad enough to cuss you haven't seen the world the way Jesus saw it. The hypocrisy made him furious."
51) "What I would really like to see are the major retailers providing ethical options that cost a little more. We have organic/natural aisles in all of our local grocery stores, so why can't we have a few racks of socially and environmentally conscious clothing?"
52) "I believe God can speak to us in the still, small voice in our soul, through words of wisdom from other people, through the indescribable beauty of creation and through the Bible. I believe He speaks to us through movies and even reality TV shows (He did speak through a donkey), when we're staring blankly into space paralyzed by life circumstances, daydreaming while mopping the kitchen floor, crunching numbers and bothered by a case of the Mondays, or while experiencing road rage in a traffic jam. God can speak to us whenever and where ever."
53) In February Alanna and I are making a trip to Nicaragua to renew my visa (I was two days over my 90 day tourist visa when we crossed at the Panama border. The guard threatened to banish me from the Costa Rica for a year. That was a cool feeling.)
54) My bug bites from the hike/Panama trip have evolved into swollen pustules that look like something Fred and George would have created for their Weasley's Snackboxes.
55) Sometimes I look at my bus window and see concrete poles pass by. Then I look up and realize they're actually ginormous palm trees.
56) My ears have gotten used to the constant sizzle of oil in a pan.
57) So many of the mutts here have unproportionately large bodies and itty bitty heads. I'm not a big dog fan to begin with, but let me tell you -- these things are UHHH-GUH-LY! (Read that last word like how the hyenas say it in the Lion King when talking about how much they hate lions).
58) The math class I'm teaching is dwindling. So far two of the girls have dropped out, getting jobs for the holiday season at clothing stores. They are working twelve hour days six days a week. One of them is eighteen-years-old. The other is fifteen.
59) Have you ever tasted fresh starfruit juice? I have. It's really really good.
60) I'm going to miss noticing new graffiti, such as the portrait of the Little Prince (remember that book?) that I saw last week.
61) It's interesting how people here really have NO idea where anything in the States is. Whenever I say "I'm from Washington. Not the city, but the state," they'll say "Oh! By Michigan!" or "Oh! Right next to Texas!" No. Just no.
62) Also, people here are taught that there are six continents; North and South America are just called "America" which makes every person living on these lands an "American", not just those of us who deck ourselves in red, white, and blue on July 4th.
63) While I was at Melisa's mom's house on Saturday eating lunch, we flipped on the TV and guess what was on! FREE WILLY!
64) I teach an English class to two Costa Rican women who teach the girls during the week. Today we were working on pronunciation, reading passages from my bilingual Bible. Ana Virginia, one of the most studious, focused people I have ever met, could not pronounce the word "the" for the life of her. I don't know how, but it ALWAYS sounded just like she was saying "duck". Go figure.
65) Then, when we were reading the "Parable of the Lost Sheep", I could have sworn she said "Parable of the Lost Shit."
66) More and more I recognize friends when I'm walking through downtown. It makes me realize how much I miss going to Safeway in Anacortes.
67) Imaginary friends are frowned upon in Costa Rican culture.
68) I love smiles on little bodies with big heads.
69) There is NO way I am EVER going to pay $4 for a cup of coffee. OK, I don't drink coffee, but still...when you think about it, that's ridiculous.
70) The word "OK" looks like a stick figure. Tom Kovach gets credit for that one.
71) There's this boy with heavily-geled hair who perches on top of the iron-barred gate at the property in Carpio, bellowing for the keys so he can enter and play soccer. I always think of an iguana when I see him.
72) Seven-year-olds should never wear miniskirts.
73) But they do.
74) I can very distinctly remember talking with my good friend Briana Hobbs as a 7-year-old, wondering what it would be like to be "grown up", to finally understand all those things that our parents promised we would once "we were older", to have to wear a bra, and to move out of our rooms. We were just girls, and to be honest, I still feel so little sometimes (on the inside...I'll never be little on the outside). What about the day when some one calls me "Mom"? Will I remember then where I am now? While I sit in the sunshine and ponder these things, the one-year-old son of one of my students staggers into my lap, grabbing my giraffe knees with his baby koala hands. I look at his mother, a weary face with a tired smile and wonder if she ever asked the same questions to herself. Or if she ever remembers being a curious little girl. Or if maybe she still is one.
75) Every two weeks, I let myself turn on my cell phone that I had for two months this summer, open the inbox, close my eyes, and read a random text. Then I turn off the little electronic memories and put them back in their place.
76) My tica mom is starting to put up Christmas decorations around the house. It's making me realize how hard the holidays are going to be without my family.
77) This memory washed over me today: sledding down the hills at the high school with Tom, Julius, and Darien -- snow days were starting and the year was ending. What I'd give to be back in that place again.
78) I know I'll be using that phrase about Costa Rica sooner than I want: "What I'd give to be back in that place again."
79) One of the girls who has been involved in gang-activity had been incredibly huggy to me as of late. Last week I only showed up one day because of the whole Panama/saying goodbye to the fam thing, and this particular student asked Alanna, "Where's Hannah? I miss her." Alanna said, "I know -- you two get along really well." And with that, the girl grinned "Well of course! Hannah's the best!" When Alanna told me that, I think I felt a greater swell within me than when I got that standing ovation at graduation.
80) I'm starting to watch more Spanish TV. And understanding it. Sort of.
81) Here, I see trees growing out of trees.
82) Advent started on Sunday. I love my parents.
83) There are good-bye letters from August that I don't read. They sit in a drawer and sigh, but I can't give them the attention they want. I just can't.
84) "Thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
85) Another quote from miss Elisabeth Raff: "Sometimes people are put in our lives to introduce us to other people. That's their job -- to give us a connection."
86) "8 million stories out there, in there naked. City is a pity, half of you all won't make it."
87) Last night I had a dream about three amigos who are on the journey of a life time -- Stephen Steen, Mike Ferrario, and Tyler Jones are all bicycling from Anacortes, WA to Lima, Peru. Crazy? Yes. Dangerous? Incredibly. Adventuresome? To say the least. Check out their blog at promisenottodie.blogspot.com. Hopefully I'll get to see them when they pass through Costa Rica!
88) So many of my deepest, most personal conversations happen in some sort of public transportation here. I know it's not true, but I'm under the impression that the language barrier prevents people from understanding the rawness of what I'm saying and how so much of my heart is hanging in the air. The same thing happened when I visited Japan.
89) Speaking of Japan, I realized the main reason why I'm so gung-ho when it comes to trying new food here is because of that two-week trip.
90) SKYPE IS SO COOL.
91) My ukulele has definitely been a boredom-buster here. I've written a few new songs that I think will be great hits at the Farmers Market come May. Or maybe I'll just stick with Puff the Magic Dragon.
92) Henry thought that the coins here were fake -- they're made of aluminum and probably float like the yen did in Japan.
93) I've already seen copies of New Moon on the streets here.
94) Tuesdays are always special -- they mean I've been here for another week. Today the number is 15.
95) Tomorrow is Wednesday, two for one movie day at the rental place. I've been having a hankering for Aladdin.
96) You can buy anything one at a time here from the local mini-marts: eggs, cigarettes, you name it.
97) One such mini-mart is awesomely called "Mini Super Fly". Possible name for first-born child? Yes.
98) There are days when I sit on the bus and imagine my family climbing on, but as we were six years ago. I see my little twelve-year-old self and wonder what she would think if she saw who I am today.
99) Or if she would even recognize me.
100) And then I see another me get on the bus -- the future me, with a husband and kids of my own.
101) It's good watching people grow up.
102) Every day I peel off layers of dirt from the bottoms of my feet. So pleasant.
103) Look out your window at the full moon. It's the same moon I'm looking at right now.
104) On Sunday, my pastor used this phrase that really struck me: "Looking at people like Mother Theresa, all the good she's done, all the people she's touched...all of her self-lessness and inspiring acts, I realize something: the same spirit that shines through her is tucked inside of me."
105) Coming out of high school, I realized how much of my being I spend trying to be accepted by people that impress me. We all do this. We see some one and decide we want to have some connection to them -- we want to be at their level, we want to relate to them. So we spend hours wikipedia-ing music genres, we rifle and sort through what we wear, we attune our ears to new vocabulary and throw it into our own, we copy and paste "about me"s and we try to impress back.
Here though, the people I admire, the people I want to imitate -- those are the people who love me for everything I am. And everything I'm not.
Take Carmen for example.
She loves me because I gobble up everything she cooks, because I'm an older sister to her daughter, because I'm an offspring of the remembered and revered "familia Holtgeerts."
She also loves me because my Spanish is far from perfect, because I can only be here for five more short months, because I take pictures with a camera worth more than her husband's salary, and because I will NEVER be able to relate to what she's been through, no matter what life throws at me.
I want to be like Carmen, like my own mother, like Jesus -- I want to be one of those people who turns attraction inside out. Rather than spending energy trying to impress others, I want to take that wasted time and those futile efforts and put it towards a greater goal: making people realize how they can impress themselves.
That's what I want right now.
--Hannah
I'm terribly sorry about the lack of updates. Between my family's visit, saying good-bye to some of my new best friends, and the fact that my internet has been down for the last five days, I haven't really had a chance to connect with the rest of the world.
Today is my 105th day in this country. For this reason, I am going to list 105 things that have happened, are happening, or are going to happen.
Enjoy.
1) My family visited. Amazing.
2) I started playing a board game called "Catan". You have to overthrow a medieval land, trade sheep for wood, and earn victory points. Believe me, it's MUCH cooler than it sounds.
3) Went to Panama for three nights with my bros and 'rents and Tom. Came back not a shade tanner, plastered in mosquito bites, and full of fun family memories.
4) Lauren left. So did Tom.
5) Looking back on the friendship I formed with that young man, I realized all the life lessons he taught me. Here are a few:
6) "Your parents are going to watch you grow up (Whether they are ready to or not)."
7) On college: "Just go to class."
8) "Even though finding fun in doing the 'right thing' can be harder, it's always more memorable."
9) "Why not get creative when drawing our your future?"
10) "If you're having a bad day, make it the BEST bad day ever."
11) Another amazing friend who I've learned a lot from is the incredible Elisabeth Raff. We met in June right before I left, but the way we get along you'd think I had spent two decades with her, not two months. Via facebook, we bounce back and forth bits of knowledge that life throws at us, learning and growing over the thousands of miles between us. She sent me a music mix that has become the new soundtrack to my life. Some songs you should listen to are:
12) "What'd I Say, Pts. 1 & 2" by Ray Charles
13) "La Vie En Rose" by Louis Armstrong
14) "Married Life" by Michael Giacchino (sounds sort of like "Giacolone...")
15) "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jazon Mraz
16) "My Only Offer" by Mates of State
17) ...and this lyric: "Every day I see my dream." That's sticking hard in my head right now.
18) Classes started up again. I'm now officially teaching a seventh grade math class (before I was just working with a handful of girls who had come too late to present their exams -- now I have them along with the original class, none of which passed).
19) I'm going to see that every one of them passes come April.
20) The film "Stand and Deliver" had somewhat of a profound affect on me.
21) My friend Tom Kovach got a 800 on his math SATs. My friend Nik Massey turned 18. I remember them both as twelve-year-olds.
22) Another letter came from Joy Brandli, my youth group leader and life-long hero. When describing my blog, she used the words "heartwarming and heartbreaking, but definitely from the heart." <3 that woman and her future. :)
23) Another woman I feel SO much love towards -- Carmen, the cook out in Carpio. She has three sons and a daughter (18, 15, 13, and 12 years old respectively), and they adopted another young man into their family who is 16. Carmen represents the raw truth that is life in La Carpio: take what God has given you, the broken bits and pieces, and you can create a home that is far more beautiful than anything out of Better Homes and Gardens.
24) Yesterday my tica mom brought home a big jar of crunchy peanut butter for me. My heart soared.
25) Today she presented me with a single apple, something that I know costs 500 colones (around 80 cents). I bought an entire KILOGRAM of "Mamones Chinos" (fruits that you might mistake for sea anemones) for the same price.
26) Today I rode the bus with a crucifix and playboy bunny decals right next to each other.
27) Some times, I mistake people for heaps of clothes and heaps of clothes for people.
28) I recognize homeless people from six years ago.
29) I'm finally running again! Yay for friends who push you (Alanna).
30) The two of us have spawned a bizarre fascination with the Arthur theme song.
31) Alanna's starting a choir with the girls.
32) I've gotten really good at mindsweeper.
33) Susie (a missionary who has been here for 30+ years) had her brother come down last week, and he installed Microsoft Office and Open Office onto all my computers! NO MORE WORDPAD! HALLELUJAH!
34) On Saturday night, I went and watched Melisa (my Peruvian friend) play a little Peruvian guitar (smaller/cooler than my uke) with a group of nine women all performing traditional Peruvian music. SO COOL.
35) I also froze my butt off while watching the concert. Turns out this country can be cold.
36) Interesting fact about Costa Rica: there are restrictions on driving. Depending on the last digit of your license plate, there are different days of the week when you can't be on the road. Clever.
37) My host mother and siblings are all working in the polls for the upcoming elections in February.
38) Which is also when the Olympics will be happening! Yay!
39) I've learned that the longer you live with your parents, the more you fight with them.
40) And that I'm NEVER going to put a TV in front of my kitchen table. Sorry future husband.
41) 500 Days of Summer is a beautiful little story about love. It is NOT a love story.
42) Christmas is in less than a month, but I honestly feel like it's still summer. On TV, there's a commercial where a choir of women sunnily skip through a blue-skyed park, singing "Walking in a winter wonderland..." Oh irony.
43) The World Race crew leaves on Wednesday. Alanna heads home for Christmas for two weeks. I'm gonna be chilling -- err, probably sweating -- here on my own.
44) Except not! I have my host family to love, Kathy and her daughter who is visiting for the first time (praise God!), and the Lopezes (Tom's host family). They provide a HUGE christmas dinner to homeless people in the park where I catch the bus to Carpio. It's impossible to look at them and not see Christ shining through their smiles.
45) My bookshelf is a lot more snug now...thank you everyone who sent books down! You have no idea how much I appreciate that.
46) Other things that came with my parents:
47) Frangos. YUM.
48) New headphones...couldn't be happier.
49) The two latest editions of Relevant, full of truth-nuggets that I want to share with you:
50) "What is a cuss word? People keep saying Jesus didn't EVER use them but where is the list? If you have never been mad enough to cuss you haven't seen the world the way Jesus saw it. The hypocrisy made him furious."
51) "What I would really like to see are the major retailers providing ethical options that cost a little more. We have organic/natural aisles in all of our local grocery stores, so why can't we have a few racks of socially and environmentally conscious clothing?"
52) "I believe God can speak to us in the still, small voice in our soul, through words of wisdom from other people, through the indescribable beauty of creation and through the Bible. I believe He speaks to us through movies and even reality TV shows (He did speak through a donkey), when we're staring blankly into space paralyzed by life circumstances, daydreaming while mopping the kitchen floor, crunching numbers and bothered by a case of the Mondays, or while experiencing road rage in a traffic jam. God can speak to us whenever and where ever."
53) In February Alanna and I are making a trip to Nicaragua to renew my visa (I was two days over my 90 day tourist visa when we crossed at the Panama border. The guard threatened to banish me from the Costa Rica for a year. That was a cool feeling.)
54) My bug bites from the hike/Panama trip have evolved into swollen pustules that look like something Fred and George would have created for their Weasley's Snackboxes.
55) Sometimes I look at my bus window and see concrete poles pass by. Then I look up and realize they're actually ginormous palm trees.
56) My ears have gotten used to the constant sizzle of oil in a pan.
57) So many of the mutts here have unproportionately large bodies and itty bitty heads. I'm not a big dog fan to begin with, but let me tell you -- these things are UHHH-GUH-LY! (Read that last word like how the hyenas say it in the Lion King when talking about how much they hate lions).
58) The math class I'm teaching is dwindling. So far two of the girls have dropped out, getting jobs for the holiday season at clothing stores. They are working twelve hour days six days a week. One of them is eighteen-years-old. The other is fifteen.
59) Have you ever tasted fresh starfruit juice? I have. It's really really good.
60) I'm going to miss noticing new graffiti, such as the portrait of the Little Prince (remember that book?) that I saw last week.
61) It's interesting how people here really have NO idea where anything in the States is. Whenever I say "I'm from Washington. Not the city, but the state," they'll say "Oh! By Michigan!" or "Oh! Right next to Texas!" No. Just no.
62) Also, people here are taught that there are six continents; North and South America are just called "America" which makes every person living on these lands an "American", not just those of us who deck ourselves in red, white, and blue on July 4th.
63) While I was at Melisa's mom's house on Saturday eating lunch, we flipped on the TV and guess what was on! FREE WILLY!
64) I teach an English class to two Costa Rican women who teach the girls during the week. Today we were working on pronunciation, reading passages from my bilingual Bible. Ana Virginia, one of the most studious, focused people I have ever met, could not pronounce the word "the" for the life of her. I don't know how, but it ALWAYS sounded just like she was saying "duck". Go figure.
65) Then, when we were reading the "Parable of the Lost Sheep", I could have sworn she said "Parable of the Lost Shit."
66) More and more I recognize friends when I'm walking through downtown. It makes me realize how much I miss going to Safeway in Anacortes.
67) Imaginary friends are frowned upon in Costa Rican culture.
68) I love smiles on little bodies with big heads.
69) There is NO way I am EVER going to pay $4 for a cup of coffee. OK, I don't drink coffee, but still...when you think about it, that's ridiculous.
70) The word "OK" looks like a stick figure. Tom Kovach gets credit for that one.
71) There's this boy with heavily-geled hair who perches on top of the iron-barred gate at the property in Carpio, bellowing for the keys so he can enter and play soccer. I always think of an iguana when I see him.
72) Seven-year-olds should never wear miniskirts.
73) But they do.
74) I can very distinctly remember talking with my good friend Briana Hobbs as a 7-year-old, wondering what it would be like to be "grown up", to finally understand all those things that our parents promised we would once "we were older", to have to wear a bra, and to move out of our rooms. We were just girls, and to be honest, I still feel so little sometimes (on the inside...I'll never be little on the outside). What about the day when some one calls me "Mom"? Will I remember then where I am now? While I sit in the sunshine and ponder these things, the one-year-old son of one of my students staggers into my lap, grabbing my giraffe knees with his baby koala hands. I look at his mother, a weary face with a tired smile and wonder if she ever asked the same questions to herself. Or if she ever remembers being a curious little girl. Or if maybe she still is one.
75) Every two weeks, I let myself turn on my cell phone that I had for two months this summer, open the inbox, close my eyes, and read a random text. Then I turn off the little electronic memories and put them back in their place.
76) My tica mom is starting to put up Christmas decorations around the house. It's making me realize how hard the holidays are going to be without my family.
77) This memory washed over me today: sledding down the hills at the high school with Tom, Julius, and Darien -- snow days were starting and the year was ending. What I'd give to be back in that place again.
78) I know I'll be using that phrase about Costa Rica sooner than I want: "What I'd give to be back in that place again."
79) One of the girls who has been involved in gang-activity had been incredibly huggy to me as of late. Last week I only showed up one day because of the whole Panama/saying goodbye to the fam thing, and this particular student asked Alanna, "Where's Hannah? I miss her." Alanna said, "I know -- you two get along really well." And with that, the girl grinned "Well of course! Hannah's the best!" When Alanna told me that, I think I felt a greater swell within me than when I got that standing ovation at graduation.
80) I'm starting to watch more Spanish TV. And understanding it. Sort of.
81) Here, I see trees growing out of trees.
82) Advent started on Sunday. I love my parents.
83) There are good-bye letters from August that I don't read. They sit in a drawer and sigh, but I can't give them the attention they want. I just can't.
84) "Thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
85) Another quote from miss Elisabeth Raff: "Sometimes people are put in our lives to introduce us to other people. That's their job -- to give us a connection."
86) "8 million stories out there, in there naked. City is a pity, half of you all won't make it."
87) Last night I had a dream about three amigos who are on the journey of a life time -- Stephen Steen, Mike Ferrario, and Tyler Jones are all bicycling from Anacortes, WA to Lima, Peru. Crazy? Yes. Dangerous? Incredibly. Adventuresome? To say the least. Check out their blog at promisenottodie.blogspot.com. Hopefully I'll get to see them when they pass through Costa Rica!
88) So many of my deepest, most personal conversations happen in some sort of public transportation here. I know it's not true, but I'm under the impression that the language barrier prevents people from understanding the rawness of what I'm saying and how so much of my heart is hanging in the air. The same thing happened when I visited Japan.
89) Speaking of Japan, I realized the main reason why I'm so gung-ho when it comes to trying new food here is because of that two-week trip.
90) SKYPE IS SO COOL.
91) My ukulele has definitely been a boredom-buster here. I've written a few new songs that I think will be great hits at the Farmers Market come May. Or maybe I'll just stick with Puff the Magic Dragon.
92) Henry thought that the coins here were fake -- they're made of aluminum and probably float like the yen did in Japan.
93) I've already seen copies of New Moon on the streets here.
94) Tuesdays are always special -- they mean I've been here for another week. Today the number is 15.
95) Tomorrow is Wednesday, two for one movie day at the rental place. I've been having a hankering for Aladdin.
96) You can buy anything one at a time here from the local mini-marts: eggs, cigarettes, you name it.
97) One such mini-mart is awesomely called "Mini Super Fly". Possible name for first-born child? Yes.
98) There are days when I sit on the bus and imagine my family climbing on, but as we were six years ago. I see my little twelve-year-old self and wonder what she would think if she saw who I am today.
99) Or if she would even recognize me.
100) And then I see another me get on the bus -- the future me, with a husband and kids of my own.
101) It's good watching people grow up.
102) Every day I peel off layers of dirt from the bottoms of my feet. So pleasant.
103) Look out your window at the full moon. It's the same moon I'm looking at right now.
104) On Sunday, my pastor used this phrase that really struck me: "Looking at people like Mother Theresa, all the good she's done, all the people she's touched...all of her self-lessness and inspiring acts, I realize something: the same spirit that shines through her is tucked inside of me."
105) Coming out of high school, I realized how much of my being I spend trying to be accepted by people that impress me. We all do this. We see some one and decide we want to have some connection to them -- we want to be at their level, we want to relate to them. So we spend hours wikipedia-ing music genres, we rifle and sort through what we wear, we attune our ears to new vocabulary and throw it into our own, we copy and paste "about me"s and we try to impress back.
Here though, the people I admire, the people I want to imitate -- those are the people who love me for everything I am. And everything I'm not.
Take Carmen for example.
She loves me because I gobble up everything she cooks, because I'm an older sister to her daughter, because I'm an offspring of the remembered and revered "familia Holtgeerts."
She also loves me because my Spanish is far from perfect, because I can only be here for five more short months, because I take pictures with a camera worth more than her husband's salary, and because I will NEVER be able to relate to what she's been through, no matter what life throws at me.
I want to be like Carmen, like my own mother, like Jesus -- I want to be one of those people who turns attraction inside out. Rather than spending energy trying to impress others, I want to take that wasted time and those futile efforts and put it towards a greater goal: making people realize how they can impress themselves.
That's what I want right now.
--Hannah
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